Summary: Rising pressure, public hate, anxiety, neglect. Those were the only words able to describe the relationship between Y/N and Mick ever since he stepped into the F1 spotlight. Is their relationship strong enough to survive?
Words:
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The clock in front of your eyes moved incredibly slow. As you inched closer and closer to the paddock, your heart began beating out of its chest.
Some time ago, coming to the paddock to watch the race was a dream come true. You enjoyed every moment of it, feeling like you were a dream and you never wanted to wake up.
But now, that dream turned into a nightmare.
You knew the risks you were taking when you began your relationship with Mick, seeing the other partners and what they had to go through just for being with a driver.
Ever since you announced your relationship to the public, the problems started creeping in.
Fights between the two of you, his fans dragging you through the mud, the media outlets tearing your relationship to shreds from the outside.
You felt like a stranger into your own relationship, like an outsides looking in as everything was going to shit right under their eyes.
It tore you apart. Every Grand Prix you attended represented another nail in the coffin of your relationship with Mick.
"Y/N?"
You blinked, hearing Mick's voice calling out to you.
Looking out the window, you noticed that you were already in the paddock parking lot, Mick having already turned the car engine off.
"Sorry, I was just thinking" you forced a smile out of you, trying to mask how much you dreaded going into the paddock.
Mick eyed you suspiciously, but nodded nonetheless.
You thanked God that he couldn't read through tour facade, not wanting to risk having another fight with him in such a public place.
After you got out of the car, Mick reached out and took your hand in his, trying to give you a sense of comfort. But even he knew that it was in vain.
"Why are you so tense?" he asked, scanning your passes and smiling at some photographers.
You smiled with him, not as naturally as you would've maybe liked.
"I'm not, I'm just a little tired. Didn't sleep that well last night" you said, hoping he would buy it.
Of course, he wouldn't even know how you slept last night. He came back to your hotel room late, opting to crash on the couch instead of your shared bed.
He nodded, not giving you a second thought as you approached the Mercedes garage.
Just like he always did.
"I'm gonna go talk to my engineer before practice. Find a place to sit and do your thing" he said, giving you a chaste kiss on your forehead before disappearing.
You sighed, looking around at the place your boyfriend had been calling home for years now. And yet, despite the many times that you had been inside that very garage, you felt more as an outsider than ever before.
Between the neglect you were suffering from Mick, the hate you were receiving from his fans, the way the media was painting you as a bad influence on Mick, you didn't feel you belonged anywhere in his world.
"Y/N?" you were shaken out of your thoughts once again, meeting George's worried eyes scanning you.
"Oh, hi George. Sorry, I'll be out of your way" you grabbed your purse tighter and went to leave and go to the hospitality, but he grabbed your arm to stop you from walking away.
"Are you okay? You were spaced out for a good while there" his expression was worried, which was exactly what you had wanted to avoid.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired. I'm gonna go hang out in hospitality, wish you guys luck with your practice" you nodded and left before George could say another word.
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Being alone in your hotel room while your boyfriend was out somewhere with his team allowed you time to contemplate.
You loved Mick, and you loved being with him. But lately, it seemed like you were the only one present in the relationship. He would barely touch you, look at you or speak to you when you would be alone together.
You had never thought that going public would cause your relationship to completely collapse. It broke your heart, and you didn't know what to do to fix it. If there was even anything left to fix.
The door opening grabbed your attention. "Y/N?" Mick called out, his footsteps growing louder as he came closer and closer to the bedroom.
You quickly tried to wipe your tears, hoping he wouldn't be able to tell you had been crying. But you weren't fast enough.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked, his voice not sounding bothered at all.
"Nothing"
"I know something's wrong. Tell me what's going on with you"
Maybe it was his tone, or maybe it was his choice of words, or maybe simply the fact that you were so tired of holding everything in that prompted you to completely break down and let everything out.
"We're not doing okay, Mick. Ever since we went to the paddock together for the first time, nothing has been the same. We barely talk to each other, you barely touch me or look at me unless you have to, your fans and the media are tearing me to shreds, calling me a gold digger and saying I'm only with you for your money and your fame and you couldn't care less. I barely see you anymore, it seems like you're doing everything to make sure you're not around me. You're staying out late, I don't know where you are half of the time and you can't wait to ditch me whenever we go somewhere together. I'm tired of fighting for a relationship that I'm not sure is worth fighting for" and with that you started sobbing, curling up on the bed and hiding your face in your hands.
Mick was shocked beyond words.
He knew he had been in the wrong. He realized he had been doing exactly what you had said. He'd been neglecting you, and the worst part was the fact that he didn't have an answer as to why. He saw the hate that you had been getting, and he didn't think it was worth it to say something in your defense. Why? He didn't know.
But as he heard your sobs fill the room and saw your body shaking with the intensity of your crying, he realized how much of an asshole he had been towards you.
"Shhh" he enveloped you in his arms, hugging you tightly and squeezing you close.
This was the first time he had touched you in weeks, you had even forgotten what his embrace felt like. In your vulnerable state, you forgot about the last few weeks, the hate and everything, completely melting in the arms of your boyfriend.
"It's okay, I'm here, let it all out" he kept whispering in your ear, kissing the top of your head and petting your hair.
As you slowly started to calm down, you didn't make a move to pull away from him, having missed his touch too much.
"Can we talk now?" his voice was soft, in contrast with the icy tone he had had when he had come back to the room.
You nodded, clearing your throat and slowly pulling away from him.
"I know I've been a shitty boyfriend lately, and there's no excuse for how I've been acting. I've been under a lot of stress from the team and I've been taking it out on you, which you didn't deserve. I'm sorry for how I've been treating you, I'm sorry for not standing up for you to my fans and the internet and I'm sorry I haven't been around. I love you, and I promise that I'm gonna do better, I'm gonna be a better boyfriend and I'm never going to make you feel like this ever again" he was holding your face in his hands, his eyes tearing up.
You knew you shouldn't cave in so easily, make him work for it more than this. But you loved him, and you could never resist him.
"I love you too" you whispered, caressing his cheek and connecting your lips, sighing at the feeling you had been missing.
Despite your rough patch, you both knew you were going to be alright, as long as you had each other.
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