A Missed Opportunity

38

Cameron looks over at me with a defeated look. "I don't know." He admits quietly.

I shut my eyes and drop my head as if this is going away. "Fighting is never, ever okay, Cameron. You know that, and the fact that you disregarded it today is unacceptable. You understand that, don't you?"

"Yes..."

I take a deep breath, finding it in me to open my eyes and look at him again. "What happened?" I try.

He shakes his head almost immediately, unwilling to answer me. "Nothing."

"Something." I insist. "Otherwise you're telling me you hit a boy for no reason."

He slowly starts deflating when he realizes the alternative. "He was being mean." He weakly offers. "And he pushed me first."

I frown at that. "Cam, that's when we go get a teacher." I point out. "Or we walk away from it. There's no reason to put our hands on people." I insist. I never wanted my son to even know how to raise a hand at someone, but that's unrealistic. In the real world, he knows what violence is and he knows how to shove someone back. I don't really know what to do with the fact that he not only knows, but has done it before.

His frown deepens. "Okay." He mumbles under his breath.

I lift my hand to rub a finger against one side of my nose bridge, letting my eyes fall shut again for a moment. "So, obviously, you're grounded." I point out. He still frowns, but he doesn't look surprised. "And I want you to apologize to that boy."

They both straighten at that. "Apologize?" Cameron looks like he might cry. Noah watches me like I'm insane. It's what my mom used to have me do though.

I try not to falter. "Yes, Cameron. Apologize." I firmly confirm. Noah shifts in his seat, eyes darting between me and Cameron. He keeps quiet about it though even if he doesn't agree with this. "You don't have to be friends with him, but I want you to at least apologize for doing what you knew was wrong."

He thinks about it for a good minute before he ultimately slowly nods. "Okay." He whispers.

"Okay," I repeat quietly. "Go wash up before dinner." I dismiss him on an exhale, waving him away. He sniffles a little as he gets up from the couch and walks around me down the hall. I look over my shoulder to watch him. When I look back at Noah, he's still watching me like I've lost my mind. I frown. "What?"

He shakes his head and looks away. "Nothing."

"Noah,"

He sighs deeply. Hesitates to look back at me. "An apology, Kiara?" He whispers, careful to keep his voice down in case Cameron can hear us from the bathroom. "The kid's a sixth grader, and he started it."

"So, what? It was just okay for Cameron to hit him?" I scoff. "That's not the kind of lesson I want my son to learn from this, Noah."

He opens his mouth to respond, but ultimately shuts it and sighs deeply as he looks away from me. I shift on my feet, slowly beginning to grow unsure. Is it not fair of me to resent the fact that Cameron would even think to not only hit a kid, but with a backpack as his weapon too? How else am I supposed to feel about it? And what am I supposed to tell him?