Beau Monde ✅

Epilogue

Years since I got my freedom, and allowed the name and life of Nailah Zayed die and be buried. Nailah is now my past—one I wouldn't want to ever go back too, and at the same time one that taught me way too many lessons.

Still, I'd left it all behind me, and turned a new page as...Faiza Kabir—somewhere far from Maroudi, and in the beautiful Island of Isla Mujeras—the same place I first met Ayaan. I'd always wanted to live somewhere like that, I wanted to live somewhere where no one knows me, and where I could start afresh the exact way I want to.

I can now proudly, and happily say that I've been living that way for a couple of years now. All I can say is, Alhamdullilah, because I'm genuinely happy—something I never thought I would be capable of in my life ever again.

Imran...he committed suicide right in front of me. It's extremely difficult every time I think about it, so I try not to do that. I try not to dwell on the fact that I was the one who made him do that.

A part of me constantly made me feel guilty—reminding me that perhaps, if I wasn't so harsh on him, he wouldn't have taken such a drastic decision that haunted me for the longest time. I knew he wasn't psychologically stable, and yet, I was still hard on him.

Another part, convinced me to not feel guilty—consoling me that he had gotten exactly what he deserved. That he had taken not just one, but two lives and still went on to live.

I don't know...I still haven't gotten over that, and I still haven't come to a conclusion on forcing myself to side with one thought. Instead, I allowed myself to heal slowly, but surely. Perhaps one day, I could be able to come to peace with myself, and accept whatever side I ended up taking.

Wallowing in it for long wouldn't bring it back, nor would it bring back any of the others we'd lost in this journey. I could only try to move on and live a better life as well as become a better person than I was before. A better woman both mentally, and religiously. Of course I know there were parts I'd been lacking then, I took this as a chance to focus more on my deen as well.

And believe me when I say that was the best decision I've ever made in my life. I'd never felt more peaceful than when I'd taken steps down that lane. Truth be told, I'd owe that to Ayaan...despite everything, he had always been a better religious person than I was. It was part of the reasons I'd looked up to him over the years.

Well, as for him...he's doing good I guess.

I haven't heard from him in a long time—since I left Maroudi that is. I meant it when I said I was turning over a new page, and that means I'd cut all contact with people in my old life.

I don't care what sort of ending people gave to Nailah, I don't care what life there is like now. The last thing I knew before leaving was that Hadi Groups and Zayed Co. has went completely bankrupt—left with nothing at all to salvage them.  

Imran's father was still in a critical condition...but I don't know how he, his wife, or Nailah's father are as well. I hadn't tried to find out over the years.

As for Basma, I got the chance to speak to her before I leave. I wouldn't say we're exactly the best of friends, but we were less hostile to each other though I truly had zero reason to hate her...never had. All I know is that she didn't get along with my sister back then, and since I was 'Nailah' then, I had to continue the feud as well since it didn't seem like she wanted it to end.

I could say she's a much better person than I expected though. After all, she was a big help to us. She's risked a lot too; we honestly wouldn't be where we are now if it weren't for her.

I don't know what Ayaan has been up to. Last I saw him was at the airport when he escorted me to take the flight out of the country after we had wrapped everything up; it was about four months after Imran's death. I didn't tell him where I was going, but I have a feeling he knows. He seems to know almost everything.