Manic [h.s]

42

Skye St James

Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party

I let the moment carry me. Every breath I take, panting for the air to get into my lungs.

My lips parted against his, gasping for air.

"Fuck me like nothing matters." I repeat myself.

It makes him pick up haste as he kisses me. Rubbing against me in the way that feels just so right. I'm so in awe of him, he takes my breath away, I can't seem to catch it, even if I try.

I feel like a puddle, a sweating puddle that wants nothing more than to have him in me. He pauses for a second to look at me, out of breath, I feel his gasps for air blowing in my face, I bet I'm just as unraveled.

He grabs my neck before kissing me again, he doesn't squeeze, just rests his hand. His thumb rests on my lip, parting us from each other and I feel him make his entrance into me.

"Holy fuck." I let out.

He lets out a low grunt, his mouth hanging open as he looks into my eyes. He's concentrating and swiveling his hips in a way that my entire body is turning to jello around him. I hang my head back and he kisses my neck lightly, I look back to him and we just stare into each other.

His green eyes drowning out every sound, our panting, everything. I can't see past him. He leans me further back onto the table so my back is to it once again, he presses on my lower abdomen, fucking me harder. He fucks me like nothing matters, because it doesn't anymore.

He groans from his throat, he has this insatiable hunger. His abs are flexed, and his chest looks defined as he keeps pumping. I can see the veins popping out of his neck the longer he goes, I'm just trying to catch my breath while watching him.

I move my right leg to the other side, he started to penetrate deeper, at a better angle. "Harry, Oh my god." I groan.

"Skye." He shouts as he picks up his speed. His hair is a mess, he keeps running his hand through it. His cross dangles from his neck over me.

Even the table is shaking. On my side, I look at him again, he's getting sloppy, slower.

All at once he finishes soon after me, "Holy fuck." He says under his breath. I stare up at him for a moment.

Completely disheveled, I reach up and kiss him.

"Damn." He says out of breath, leaning his forehead up against mine. We stay for a moment catching our breaths, he gulps back before going to speak again, "You're everything," He pauses, still gasping for air.

I roll my eyes at the thought, shrugging him off. I'm not everything. I'm not much at all when I really think about it. Manic is about to start a world tour. They have accomplished so much, and are bound to accomplish so much more.

I sit up from the table, he scrambles to the kitchen a few paces away to grab me a water bottle. He starts picking up my clothes from around the apartment, letting out small moans from the tightness of his back.
"I can pick up my stuff you know." I say before taking a sip of my water.

"You shouldn't have to." He hands me my underwear. Immediately I know something is wrong just by looking at him.

I scoot off of the table and stand in front of him.

"What is it?" I ask. The two of us are standing in my dining area completely naked. I'd normally feel vulnerable, but not with him.

He looks at the ground between us before looking back into my eyes and fixing a piece of hair behind my ear and holding his hand on my cheek.

"What is it?" I repeat myself again. Silently his thumb grazes on my cheek. He's taking long deep breaths just staring back at me. I must admit I dont know what he's thinking.

"I just umm..." He's pensive before finding the words he's looking for. His fingers are twidling around with mine.
"Fuck i just..." he interrupts his own thoughts and starts pacing around.
"Harry, what is it?" I ask again.
He's faced away from me walking towards the kitchen, he looks at me from a few feet away now.
"What do you think?" He asks. As if I could read his mind.
"I've no clue." I walk to him.
He swallows a lump in his throat and lets out a small cough as he clears his throat.
"You can't play games with me." He says again. I pause looking straight at him.

We're still just standing naked in my kitchen. I look down as I notice it again. "I won't." I retract how playful i was earlier, he seems so upset.
"You can't play with me like that, not when I-"
"What? when you what?" I question.
"When I love you this much." He speaks as though hes just trying to get the words out, fast and rushed.

My throat goes dry as I stare up at him. I want to say it, I part my lips but I dont even make a sound. It's not like I didn't expect it. He's muttered it while he's been asleep, high on God knows what. But I feel more than naked in front of him. I feel exposed. As he stands there waiting for a response, I can tell he does too.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything." He says and starts putting his underwear on.
"Harry, no." I stop him. As if putting on his close makes an abrupt stop to the conversation. That me pausing for a minute hasn't already.
"I want to say it." I admit. "I just know once I do, I'm opening myself up to a whole world of hurt okay?"
"Skye I just... I can't do this cat and mouse like, you want me but you're more worried about what your brother or kenzie or Niall thinks-"
"Fuck them." I cut him off, It lingers in the air for a second and I think he finally gets that maybe for once it's about me... and less about everyone else. "Nothing else matters." I say.
He kisses my forehead, sort of hard, like he can't do it hard enough.

For the first time I actually know what he's thinking. He wants me with him this bad. Bad enough to say the one thing he knows, would either make or break us. I'm not sure which, but he heart is on the line, and for once, I'm more worried for my own.