Manic [h.s]

06

lighters.

Skye

There was something about his breath. His being and how he carried himself as he walked out of the disgusting old bathroom. Something about it, that simply just infuriates me. He was always good at that, leaving me wanting more, even when I shouldn't. I slide off the edge of the sink and turn to look myself in the mirror.

The red spot on my shoulder completely contrasts with my pale skin. "fuck." I mutter out.

I don't know why he had to do that. As if it were to show some sort of claim he had on me, that he still has the power to do something like that. I move my hair over my shoulders and fix the bottom of my dress. Taking one last look in the mirror, I can't recognize the reflection staring back at me.

I promised I would never see him again.
After all I went through, All my family went through to keep me on the other side of the country from him. How could I let him slip right back in?

My fingertips are cold and numb. My entire body is in overdrive just looking at myself. There isn't anyway for me to calm myself down as I begin to break into a cold sweat.

I can't spiral, not here.
I grab my purse, burst out of the bathroom, and rush through the crowd of  people.

Niall just in my line of sight, walking toward the dance floor, when I finally reach him all I want is to get out.

"You wanna get out of here?" I shout over the music. He nods with a smile. I could deal with being anywhere, but not here. Not after that. We begin walking out and I don't even think the boys noticed.

Unless they did, and in that case, Harry can fucking suck it.

It feels so cold outside, less humid from the drunken conversations and dancing, nearly 10 degrees cooler and my body appreciated the change it was somehow longing for. Niall puts his arm around me again.

"Back to the hotel?" He asks. "Yeah sure." I say. I can feel how tense my shoulders are as we're walking.

I stay pretty quiet and he doesn't bother to force a conversation out of me. He doesn't know what happened at my work, in the hallway or the bathroom, but he knows seeing Harry wasn't on my intenarary for today.

We arrive at the hotel and walk through the revolving door, and he jumps in the same slot. Hit tall frame towering over me, squishing me to the handle, I can't help but laugh. "You didn't want to get your own?" I joke. "Nope." He laughs it off. We continue laughing as we get to the elevator. "Did you have fun?" He asks. "It wasn't the best night to be there, I promise I'm more fun when like-" "you don't have to explain it." Niall interrupts. I just look up at him and that warm smile.

"Were the boys serious about another girl every night?" I ask. I'm not sure what really comes over me when I say it but it just came out. I cover my mouth in shock it even came out.

He laughs at the innocent gesture that I felt bad about asking. He looks me in the eyes, and licks his lips, "sometimes one, sometimes three, depends on the night." He wasn't really cocky about mentioning it this time.

The elevator rang that we made it to the 7th floor and he keeps eye contact. We step out of the elevator in unison, walking down the same hallway where I crashed into Harry.

Suddenly without me really noticing, He pulls my wrist so i turn in towards him. My chest against his, and my hands resting on his shoulders for balance as the act was so quick and unexpected.

With our heads so close together I can smell his breath for a quick second. He puts his hand on my waist and suddenly our lips collide.

I could feel my body melt into his like a child holding an ice cream cone.

I'm not sure how I particularly want this to go. But my body begins to feel at ease. I don't feel used hy Niall, but the way Harry looked at me and spoke at me about making him jealous. I felt used by Harry.

As if he somehow got off on my discomfort around him.

I keep walking backwards until we get near his door, not disconnecting from the kiss for much more than a second. Without even looking he fishes the key card out of his pocket and swipes us in. He pushes me against the wall and suddenly pulls away.

He takes in a deep breath with hesitation of what to do next, even though his eyes show me exactly what he wants.

"You wanna smoke?" Without any hesitation, I nod my head yes. I keep giving in to them. I keep pretending like I am the young naive girl from a small town just outside of New York City. As if I am back in high school, in some ways, maybe I am still that girl, or maybe I just want to go get high in this hotel room.

Or maybe I want to pretend I'm that high school girl, because none of this would feel as bad as it seems, because I just made out with my ex boyfriend's best friend. Not even a half an hour after said ex tried to seduce me.

He smiles and walks over to the kitchenette where he has a backpack, and fishes out a ziploc bag and rolling papers. I watch as he walks to the living space and places it on the coffee table, crouching down and sitting on the floor then looks at me still standing by the doorway and he signals me to come and sit with him. I walk over and plop down on the couch across from him.

"Y'know the drill?" I nod at him as if I didn't use this skill he taught me in my sophomore year of high school. He smiles and looks at me as if to say "I taught you well."

"Load. lick. pack. load. twist. smoke." I say. Already up to loading he looks up at me and smiles. "Put the theory to practice." He says, handing me the loaded papers to lick.

His lips part as he anticipates my next move. My tongue meets the paper and I watch as his eyes shoot between the corners of my mouth and my tongue. I roll the paper and twist the edges.

"You first." I say and hand it off to him. He has his knees to his chest.
"You have a lighter?" He asks.
"Niall Horan asking me to smoke and doesn't even have a lighter?" I gasp to mock him. He chuckles a little.

"C'mon, you used to carve little flowers on them." I smile at his remark. Something I really thought he would have forgot within the past couple of years between arena and stadium shows that I somehow never noticed they were playing.

I pull my purse from my side and pull out the small yellow lighter with forget-me-nots carved on the side, and I toss it to him.

He smirks at the little flowers as he traces his finger over it.