Manic [h.s]

17

apologies and forgiveness.

Skye St. James

Forgiving Harry that quick feels like I'm already spiraling and quick. I've started to realize though, I think I forgave him much earlier than I ever thought I did. At least I didn't wake up naked in his bed. That feels like something I would impulsively do.

I open the suitcase left on the dresser for me and pull out dress pants and a blouse. I'm glad I packed away everything I could. Honestly, I don't feel comfortable going back to work, or even my apartment.

The dress from last night is sticking to my skin as I roll it off my body. I literally feel disgusting right now, but I kind of need to show upto work.

I hear a chime from my phone, "Take meds" comes up as a reminder. That explains a lot, why I can't focus, why everything suddenly feels like it's life or death, I haven't taken them in three days. Fuck.

I ruffle through my bag, pulling out like 12 pairs of underwear, all the socks I apparently own and about 5 dresses I've decided to put in here. Finally I find the small orange bottle at the bottom, pulling out a pill and swallowing it dry and leaving the bottle on the dresser. After everything with Harry last night, I don't know why I was so quick to forgive him, in fact, I might just have to blame it on the meds.

I glance over at the polaroid sitting on the bed and I can't help but smile, what made him keep that?

I continue to get ready to my hearts content and walk downstairs and past the lobby where a group of girls are screaming. Security is trying to push them back as each of them try to come into the lobby of the building.

"What's going on?" I ask one of the security guards. He looks over his sunglasses at me, he has brown eyes and a combover, "The hotel got leaked, so a bunch of fans showed up," he begins to tell me while pushing back a fan. "we'll move to another hotel tonight." He reassures me.

Another security guard in a t-shirt which reads "security" in yellow block letters on the back walks up next to me and walks me to the car, he holds firmly but not too tight onto my arm. He opens the car door and comes in with me.

I don't really know what to say or do, I look out at the crowd of teenage girls still rushing towards the building. I remember at their age being obsessed with bands, I wouldn't particularly blame them.

"I honestly didn't know they were this big." I remark. The security guard lets out a small laugh, "So it is true, you really have lived under a rock to ignore him." The driver begins to pull out as the other security members make a path to get the car out.

"I wouldn't say living under a rock." I joke with him. It's honestly refreshing to be around a male who isn't incessantly annoying me.

"C'mon even my daughters know who they are, they freaked when I got this job." He begins to make a point.

"Well, are they even good? Live I mean, I listened to some of their studio stuff when I took them on." he quickly scoffs at my question. "I'll take that as a yes." I look back out the window as we get onto the main parkway.

"Their management gives them good music to play." He begins. Now he has my attention.

"They don't play their own stuff?" I ask, once again he lets out a small chuckle.

"Nah, well, some of it is, some is just whatever their uh, management gives them."

"Harry wouldn't be too happy with that." I try to separate myself from the overwhelming feeling that something is incredibly wrong.