Swan Lake {skz fanfic}

chapter eighteen • healing

"𝐈𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬, 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐨."

{ - ???

Seungmin had settled far along the river in the forest, beside a small cottage he'd built for himself with his magic, albeit clumsily. Currently, he sat beside the river trying to catch fish, with his specially crafted fishing rod. Which was a large stick and string, with a wire bent on the end. It wasn't impressive and maybe the fish weren't entirely impressed either, because Seungmin hadn't caught anything yet. Reeling it back, Seungmin sighs at the empty hook on the line. It had maybe been a couple days since he'd left Dahyun's hut, after learning Chan had to lose his entire arm. To put it lightly, Seungmin was sulking. 

In reality, a lot was going on in his brain. It was a disastrous place after discovering he had more power than he had believed because he had a power bridge curse, a mind control curse, an amnesia curse, AND the tormentor curse all cast on him. You can imagine, he's feeling pretty chaotic. The pain he'd felt, was his magic flows being cut off and the tormentor spell fighting back at his body when he wasn't obeying the mind control curse. It was all quite dizzying to him, if he was honest, so it's alright if you're a little lost too. With all the pain and brain fog gone, he felt entirely new and that was hard to cope with. 

He gets phantom pains still, feels strange without horns, adjusting to human ears, and all the trauma that was recently suppressed sends him into small dissociative fits. Seungmin was a mess right now, so he chose to isolate, so that he can reevaluate his entire being. He wants to be alone and he's grateful to Dahyun for allowing him to do that. Since no one has found him yet, he assumes that Dahyun had also made sure no one bothered him. Which he had mixed feeling about. Good feelings and bad ones.

Seungmin missed his friends ... A lot. Hell, he found himself missing Chan for goodness sake. Chan ... Gods that man must hate me more than ever now... He thought to himself. Everything about Chan seemed to hit Seungmin with a guilt brick. The younger had already cried about it a lot, punched a couple things, and laid in the frigid winter river water while he contemplated his entire existence and future. Yet, he still felt so heavy, knowing that if he could've just gotten a hold of himself, maybe Chan wouldn't be as hurt, hell his arm would've been spared!

On top of it all, he finally remembers Jeongin, the real Jeongin and the real Momma Yang. With his real memories of the fire and his previous families death, it was as if all that grief was piled on top of him again. On one hand, he was so happy and overjoyed that Jeongin was okay. Grateful that his younger brother is alive and not dead like Gwijae had made him to be. All those warped memories were gone and replaced with the actual good ones and the more painful ones. Seungmin hasn't had the chance to miss Jeongin, to miss his second mother, or the friends he did have in that village.

He did have a mother, though he barely remembers her, she was as caring and nurturing as he hoped she was. Seungmin even remembers his older sister, she would've been twenty-seven this year. He missed them too, but at least he has memories of healing from it all, with Jeongin and Momma Yang's help. One day, he hopes soon, he can return to Jeongin and hug him close in his arms again. Seungmin can imagine that Jeongin was new to this grieving thing too..

"I think you need bait for that to actually work." 

Seungmin was startled out of his thoughts, turning to see Dahyun walking to him and sitting beside him by the river. Seungmin laughed weakly, "Yeah, well, I think I need a better rod too while we're at it." Dahyun hummed, observing the dinky thing with a fond smile. "It is quite charming, why haven't you tried conjuring up a new one or bait?" Seungmin smiled sheepishly, snapping his fingers to conjure up a worm or a cricket, but instead, an entire chicken hangs from the rod, before he snaps his fingers again and it's gone.