𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽 - ᴀ ᴍᴀᴢᴇ ʀᴜɴɴᴇʀ ꜰᴀɴꜰɪᴄ

Chapter Twenty One - Addy

*Triggers: self harm*

Lightning glows bright in the distance looming ever nearer. The flashes dance in time with the pangs of guilt that wrack my body.

Newt is going to die. It's my fault. Newt is going to die. It's my fault. Newt is going to die. It's my fault.

Chaos builds around me, swirling like the wind that's so polluted it's almost visible.

"What is this?!" Thomas yells. "We completed your test! Now you have to save us! Give us the Cure!"

My chest is tight and my stomach churns in the all too familiar feeling of a rising panic attack. My fist tightens around the little claw I'd taken from one of the dead monsters. The pressure of the blade against my palm anchors me. So long as I'm still conscious of its sting, I know I'm still here. The parasites haven't taken me past Gone. I'm still here.

Oblivious of the nearing danger and chaos going on around me, I slowly draw the blade across my wrist and watch the red seep over my sunburnt skin. Pain pools from the torn skin just like the blood, but I deserve it. Newt is going to die because of me. Poetic justice. Because I've forced him to watch me lose myself, I get to be the reason he loses his life. The least I can do to even it out is suffer even a bit of what he's guaranteed to suffer through now.

The hair on the back of my neck rises ever so slightly in warning and sand erupts into the air as a bolt of lightning crashes down beside me. The blade flies out of my grasp from my startled jump and I scramble back to it. The scent of burning blubber insults my nostrils as the monster corpse burns in a fiery inferno.

Someone screams my name. I slip the blade into the side pocket of my cargo pants so that the flat edge presses against my skin.

"Everyone!" Thomas yells. "Get in the pods! Quickly!"

Strong arms wrap around my waist and I look up at Minho as he drags me away. A groggy and crazed chuckle spills from my lips. "Your hair looks funny. So spiky."

He swats my hand away and I move to touch it. "For the love... Addy, is your hand bleeding?" Minho screams over the wind. I hadn't realized how loud the storm had become.

I shake my head, confident that he won't be able to tell I'm lying. I can't even feel the sting of the cut so it must've stopped bleeding. That was quick.

My best friend curses and scoops my legs into his arms, holding me bridal style as he runs to the nearest pod.

"Are we getting married? I don't want to marry you!" The words come from my mouth, but I can't recall moving my tongue.

"If we weren't near death, I would probably be offended! But trust me, they can't give you the Cure soon enough!"

Minho drops me into the white coffin. Am I that close to death? Am I dead? But then jumps in and pulls the lid down over top of us both. Something warm moves beside me on the opposite side Minho's on and I have a vague longing to bite on it so I can identify the creature. Something in the back of my brain stops me from following through, something familiar yet so foreign fighting for control.

For a moment, the silence is broken up only by the ragged gasps for breath until Minho speaks. "Welcome to the Safe Haven Inn! Anyone else think we should go get our money back? This room is not what was advertised."

For some reason, I find that hilarious and burst into laughter.

"Thomas," my brother answers. "An- and Newt."

"Who turned out the lights?" I ask in between giggles though I can't remember what's so funny.

Minho curses again. "She's not doing good. There's not much time."

Someone shifts to my right. "Addy?"

My laughter halts suddenly at the tinted voice. When a hand gently touches my knee, the foreign presence presses harder. It's giving me a headache. Persistent little thing. I'll have to kill it.

"Addy, listen to me." Newt's voice cracks. Minho clears his throat and starts a conversation with Thomas as an arm creeps across my waist and to the small of my back, pulling me into Newt. "I know you're still in there, luv. Don't leave me yet."

At least I slip behind the wheel gently and unnoticed! The foreign thing tries to take it through force and pounds pounds pounds against my skull. Until it cracks.

I gasp as if I'd been underwater. "Newt?"

He nods against me, pressing his forehead into my chest and dampening my shirt with salty tears.

"Newt!" Sobs wrack my body. I don't know what to feel. I don't know how to feel. I can't feel.

So I let myself to melt into his embrace. Our legs tangle together and we hold each other so tight that we may never come apart again. This is Newt. My Newt. My beloved, angelic Newt.

Thomas lowers his voice to a whisper, but I still hear as he turns to Minho to say, "At least if they die, they'll die together. Happy."