𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽 - ᴀ ᴍᴀᴢᴇ ʀᴜɴɴᴇʀ ꜰᴀɴꜰɪᴄ

Chapter Eleven - Addy

"Now what?"

"I don't think that was supposed to happen."

"What do we do?"

The girls frantically shoot Harriet and Sonya with questions that spew from their mouths like poisonous darts. With every impact, the young leaders' bloodstreams fill with the toxins of dread and uncertainty. A part of me wants to reach out and erase the anxiety on their faces as best I can, but I'm held down by my own demons. I can't help them until I help myself.

I crumple into the floor, my breaths coming in irregular gasps. My thoughts spin. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. Tommy is dead. What are they going to make us do next? Who will they make us kill? I can't breath.

The parasite in my brain flicks a switch. Do you really care? An image of clawing at human flesh until my fingernails are dripping in crimson flashes through my mind. For a moment, the animal part of me is eager to make the vision reality, but then the fog around my victim's head clears and a face appears. Minho, Newt, Thomas, Sonya, Harriet. The features melt and change rapidly and I realize what I'd been thinking. I can't. I can't think like that!

Terror claws at my belly, but not fear from the environment. No, this panic is born from within my being. I'm scared of myself and what I might do. Who I might hurt. I've lost it. I've lost control.

"-we'll lay low, alright?" Sonya's voice, masked in fake confidence, cuts through my silent breakdown. "That's all we can do for now so unless they send us another message, we'll keep track of the boys and keep towards the Safe Haven." She refers to WICKED with immense spite dripping from her words.

The answer is accepted, mostly because the girls have nowhere else to turn to for guidance they so desperately need. I suck in more oxygen, trying fruitlessly to pull myself together. Just as I collect myself a scream pierces my peace and shatters all the control I'd gathered.

Thomas screams as the Hispanic man sticks a hot knife into my brother's wound while Minho wrangles his limbs to prevent thrashing. They join forces to remove the bullet embedded in his flash. A whirring sounds joins the cacophony of noise and in what feels like a millisecond, a Berg mars the bright sky. Before I know it, Tommy is carried away, leaving the Gladers scrambling for some sort of order. If Newt were there, he'd calm them down. Tears well in my eyes at his memory. He's not here. And that's nobody's fault but mine.

---

Before I know it, the Berg returns and, to my relief, Tommy is returned to the Gladers freshly repaired. The excitement is shortlived. Moments later another girl falls to the ground in a shaking heap, demonically directing us on what we must do. To my horror, in words that aren't her own, she says, "Take the boy into the mountains. Don't let the other boys follow. Just beyond the mountain is the Safe Haven. When you're finished, continue north."

The girl falls limp.

"It's time," Harriet mutters. "Let's go."

The dark haired girl waves us forward and we follow her out of the sandy ditch that had been shielding us from Group A's view. It's all finally becoming real. I can't do it. I can't. I won't. But I haven't got a choice.

Instead of staying firm in the sand, my feet tremble and move on their own accord. Inside I panic, but outside my face melts into a mask of impartiality and my legs are stipulated into strutting to the head of the group, in perfect sight of Group A.

If you don't do it, we'll do it for you. Chancellor Paige's voice fills my head.  Fewer will get hurt if you do this well. I feel her control over me leech away and I know that I have a split second to decide. Lose their trust forever or lose them all forever.

"Addy!" Thomas struggles through the sand to get to me, but I've made my decision.

"Don't. Move." My fingers tremble against the gun clenched between them.

The boys freeze. My vision contorts in a puddle of tears, but I hold my jaw strong. "Give us Thomas. Don't follow."

"Addy, what's going on? How did you get here?" Minho starts towards me, but I jerk the barrel of my gun towards him. His hands shoot into the air and he takes a few surprised steps backwards.

I keep my face emotionless and steely. "Hand him over and no one gets hurt." The Gladers gape. "Now."

Thomas walks towards us slowly, casting confused and nervous glances to the other boys. When he reaches us, I grab his arm and twist it behind his back, pressing the gun to the side of his head. "Let's go," I hiss, kicking him forward. My heart shatters as I do it, but there's no choice. I have to protect everyone. My finger twitches against the trigger. Whatever beast is in my head enjoys the betrayal, but I wrestle for control and keep my hand still. Barely.