donut

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TW//same as last chapter

I've watched every single Nick Wilkins video by now. Especially the one we were in together. He edited it so masterfully with a style that gave me a cozy feeling when I watched it. He embraced the little human mistakes we made. I loved it. It reminded me of his actual personality.

I was under my covers, in my own home, in my own bed, my brand new bed in my brand new room, scrolling through his videos. I had to make sure I had watched all of them. I came by one I hadn't seen before– "Christmas is coming!"

It was a pretty normal video. He complimented his haircut, danced around in a neon green onesie, and talked to his alter-ago, which, now that I think about it, "alter-ego" sounds way more dramatic than it actually is. It's only him in an afro wig which he named "Bob".

He walked around the house and suddenly he pulled up some mistletoe and laughed awkwardly. On instinct, I slowly leaned into my phone.

I threw it across the bed. Shoving my face in the pillow, I said out loud to nobody in particular, "I can't believe I just did that!"

I really couldn't believe it.

I'm never touching that phone again, I don't deserve it.

The audio of the video looped over and over again as I laid quietly giggling by myself. Slowly, I disobeyed my own thoughts and picked up my phone again. I kept scrolling, but not on his page anymore. After a few minutes I turned off my phone. My reflection in the black screen didn't really look like me. For one, I was redder than I'd ever been, with an odd expression on my face.

._.

The doorbell rang and I counted the number of times it did. One, two, three... That means Casey was at my doorstep. It had been a few hours and I hoped I wasn't still pink, or any color besides what is good and right and it didn't look like I had just kissed a picture of her brother. "It's open!" I shouted from above.

The door opened. "Yo, Liv, want to come down to Mouthcloud with me?"

"Sure, is Scar gonna be there?"

"No, she has an exam." Scarlett was the only one of us in college. I didn't care to go, and Casey wanted to go when she was older. "I already texted her."

I pulled out my earbud case. Having known her for about a month now (so practically our entire lives), we didn't have to chat every time we went out.Casey usually crocheted while I read my latest book and listened to Lovejoy on my earbuds. We enjoyed each other's company like all of those health TikToks always tell you to do. Oddly, when I emerged downstairs, she didn't have her yarn with her, so I placed my earbuds on the table. "What are we doing today?"

"I'm getting you away from your addiction to short-form sludge content," she leered. I sighed. "I promise, I won't go on YouTube at all while we're there. Spotify only."

Making a retching face, she said, "You use Spotify? I use Apple music. We actually had Nick kicked off the family plan recently because he was using it too much. It's just better in every way."

I knew she was kidding. "You use Apple music?" I matched her gag. "Agree to disagree. Let's go get a scone."

._.

I sat down while Casey ordered our food. Bella gave it to us for free because in her words, Casey was a "valued customer". I pointed out that that would mean the other customers weren't valued, but I was given a mug of tea and a smirk from her end.

Bella's shop had a good amount of business today. Around half the tables were filled.

"So, be honest with me." she looked me in the eye. "Who's your crush?"

"I, uh..." I couldn't exactly say, "your brother," in this situation. Before I could think of a response, she spoke again.

"Is it who I think it is?"

"Who do you think it is?"

A mischievous expression landed on her face. "His name starts with an N..." she began. "He has blonde hair, just like me. He eats baby food..."

"Shut uppp!" I laughed. She had finished her donut. I hadn't touched mine.

"What's wrong?"

"You didn't have to get me anything. I'm not very hungry."

A shadow swept over her excited attitude. "How come you're never hungry when we come here?"

I paused.

"I don't know. I'm just not."

Suddenly, her chair slipped out from under her. Bella rushed over. "Oh no," she exclaimed, "The chair's leg broke! Casey, honey, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Case peeled her face off of the wooden flooring. "I might have some splinters, though."

"I'm sorry," I exclaimed. "Do you want me to help you get fixed up in the bathroom?"

"No, Livvy, it's okay, I can do it myself," she told me in a monotone voice that I couldn't tell if it was from the pain or not.

My breathing became heavier. What did she think of me? Was she able to realize? Did Nick tell her? If so, was she just taunting me?

I definitely took it as a taunt.

I slung my purse over my shoulder and shuffled out of the cafe.

A/N

I say this every chapter but plsss actually give me suggestions or feedback or comments or ANYTHING (i appreciate it all)

I have hit writers block like a wall help

Stay safe ily -jaz

898 words

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