𝑬𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑻𝒐 𝒀𝑯𝑾𝑯

𝑿𝑽𝑰𝑰𝑰

“Good morning Joe,” I greeted the man. He was dressed in neatly ironed trousers, a baby blue shirt with a pink tie and black loafers. 

“Morning dear. So sorry I have to leave now but I'll be in touch with your mother.” He patted my head.

I liked Joe. He seemed friendly, like a distant cool uncle I never had.

Mom emerged from the kitchen with a cup of hot Lipton in hand. She pushed it towards Joe who refused initially but caved in after her insistence. “Thank you…for everything.” Mom said sincerely.

“What are friends for? See you soon, Favour.” As he left an older lady entered. 

“Good morning miss.” She greeted mom. The two of them went to talk in a corner. I kept tabs on them as I ate the bread and fried egg given to me. Mom frowned throughout the conversation while the old lady nodded in understanding. The two went upstairs to Lael's room before it registered that she must be a caretaker or home nurse.

Worry immediately took away the appetite I had for the day. Until I was sure my little sister wasn't having a mental health risk and that she was healthy, food would continue to taste like blob to me.

“Hey,” Ikenna settled into the seat beside me looking less tired, at least his heart can be at rest a little. The dark circle of days under his eyes is beginning to fade away but the tiredness looks like it needs more days to expel. He had a cup of coffee in hand as he texted rapidly with his other hand. “No school today?”

“I don't even know where we are.” The thought of school made my stomach churn. I wonder what everyone is saying about me. What if Rahila and Isoke go to my house to look for me? Would they come look for me after how distant I've been lately? Who would care actually?

“We're not that far from…home,” he puts his phone in his back pocket. “School is even closer from here. I can take you tomorrow in case your friends start asking about you.”

I scoffed. “Don't worry about that.”

He nodded in thought. “So you're friends with Kenneth.” It wasn't a question.

I picked up my empty plate and cup, heading towards the kitchen to avoid having this conversation with him. The mere mention of his name makes me jittery. I'm no fool. I know exactly what it means but it's fleeting anyways.

“You can't avoid this conversation.” Ike walks up behind me.

“I'm not avoiding anything.” I say stubbornly. How does he even know? I don't even want to ask.

“I told him to stay away from you.” He said smugly.

“What? Why would you interfere?” I turned to face him, clearly annoyed with his “overprotectiveness”.

“I don't like how he's worried about you.”

He is?

“You're crazy and we may not be the conventional Nigerian brother and sister but you shouldn't take it too far. We are just getting to know each other. It's nothing.”

“I'm a guy.”

“Your point?”

“It's not nothing.”

“I don't have time for this. We should be worrying about Leal.”

Instantly a frown formed on his face. “I shouldn't have left her alone.” My heart broke for him.

“Why do you blame yourself for everything?” 

“But it's true!”

“What's true?” Mom asked, interrupting us. The old lady wasn't with her this time. Ikenna lowered his head.

“It's nothing mom. How is Lael doing?” I diverted. 

Mom perked up. “She woke up but only to… vomit a whole lot of yellow things. The nurse gave her something to take so she's asleep again.”

Ikenna let out a breath. 

“Thank God.”

“Yeah. I'm heading out, there's something I need to handle.” We both didn't get a chance to ask further questions because he was gone in an instant. I worry for my brother.

“Ị dịkwa mma?” Mom pushed a stray strand of wet hair from my forehead. She felt my skin with the back of her palm. “You're too hot.” She asked if I was okay.

“It's nothing. I'm going to sit beside Lael.”

She wanted to fuss more but I was already walking upstairs.

The old lady exited the room after checking on Lael. I stood at the entrance staring at her limp body, afraid to step a foot in the room. We could have lost her. With enough courage I stepped in and sat on the plastic chair beside the bed. Her veins were showing in her hand where the catheter was. I touched her cheek. “Sorry.”

Tears sprung in my eyes. Crying felt like what I needed the most but it was hard. I didn't want to break down, I don't like to be overcome by weakness. I guess it's because I've not had someone to comfort me in a long time. “I'm sorry for telling you to get used to it. You never do, I never did. It hurts everyday to watch. I thought you'd be like me. I blocked out all my feelings so it wouldn't hurt so much.”

She didn't stir so I kept talking. “You didn't want me to drag you back to God,” I chuckled, wiping my tears. “I'm not sure what I'm doing but going back makes everything bearable. He'll fix this, just watch and see. I know he will. I just know it.”

And maybe that was what I needed to acknowledge. That believing without seeing would be the foundation of my Faith in God. 

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