Programming

Wanting to Want

"Got it." He said, his mouth full, probably eating more of the cupcake and I heard him rummage msssily through the fridge.

I began dealing us each 11 cards after placing down an ace. He filled the shot glasses again and sat on the couch by me, I picked up my cards and began looking at them, moving to sit criss cross, facing towards him.

"If I guess right, you take a shot." I offered with a playful smile.

"And if I guess right?"

"Well you'll probably guess right everytime and then you'll have to drag my drunk ass self to the toilet to puke" I said laughing and kicking him lightly.

"Okay, that's fair," He began looking through his card and sat criss cross, facing me like I did. "How about if you guess wrong 3 times you have to take a shot."

I stuck out my hand for him to shake it and he took it softly.

"Deal." I said dramatically shaking his hand.

He looked up at me over his messily fanned cards and we both tried to put some down at the same time but of course, he beat me to it.

"Two aces." Hs said confidently,

I didnt have any aces in my hand so I didn't know if he was lying or not and just grabbed a 2 of spades, placing it on the table face down, avoiding his gaze.

"One 2."

"Three 3's." I had one 3 but I tried to look at his face anyway to find out if he was lying, it didn't seem plausible to get so many 3's first draw.

He smirked up at me, not even looking at his cards, just a stupid cocky look on his face.

"Bullshit." I said and he closed and playfully frowned, shaking his head.

I grabbed the cards off the table and realized he was telling the truth but lying about the aces. That little shit.

2 rounds later I guessed right 2 times and wrong 7, after the 6th time getting wrong the alcohol buzzed hard in my veins and I was getting very sloppy, the room spinning around me. Connor's blush matching mine as he relaxed over the night, slightly swaying along to the music.

"A whopping foouurr 8's!" I slurred, slamming the cards on the large pile with a bang, making the glasses tink about.

He laughed, covering his mouth with his hand softly as he chuckled. Sifting through his cards and grabbing some from random spots.

"Two 9's." He threw the cards lazily onto the table and sighed, knowing I have no idea if he's lying, my hazy brain only thinking about his drunken smile and the look in his eyes.

"Mmmmm three 10's." I said, sliding the cards over to the table slowly like it was a drug deal and squinting my eyes at him.

"Bullshit."

"I didnt even put the cards down!" I whined, hiding the cards in my chest.

"Bulllll-shit." He smirked and looked me up and down, reading me like a book all night.

"Nope."

"Oh really?" He said, raising an eyebrow at me.

I really wanted to kiss that look off his face.

"Yup. Youre wronng." I said defiantly and he scoffed, knowing I was lying.

"Then let me see the cards." He started reaching for them softly and I playfully pulled them away from him and held them behind me.

"No!" He laughed the most adorable laugh and reached for the cards again, messily slipping about on the couch and I laughed, yelping and pushing him away with my foot. "You're wrong! I'm tellin the trutthhh."

"Okay, okay." He lifted his hands defensively and I slowly pulled my hand back onto my lap, keeping my foot against his chest to keep distance. "Then you wouldn't mind showin me them." He pushed my foot down and cralwed over me, lunging for the cards and I quickly pulled them away, laughing and screaming playfully.

I held them behind my head as far as I could as he tried to reach around me, laughing and trying to pull my arm down enough to grab the cards just out of his reach. He crawled over me more despite me pushing his shoulder and trying to squirm away, my drunk limbs failing miserably and just making me slide down the couch more under him. I yelped when he tickled me, making my arm flinched down enough for him to snatch the cards out of my hand. We laughed together as he caught his balance over me so he didn't fall and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

"Liar." He said with a large smile, holding the cards by my head and looking into my eyes from above me.

I ignored the cards as I realized the position we were in, he leg was slotted in between mine, holding himself up with his elbows, one hand holding my shoulder from underneath and the other holding the cards. My heart pounds in my chest and I was far too drunk right now to have him looking at me like that, scanning his eyes down me and back up, stopping on my lips for a moment before looking back into my eyes and all the air was sucked out of my lungs as I looked into those deep caramel pools. His eyes shifted to slight worry as he looked at me and he opened and closed his mouth like he was going to say something but changed his mind before settling on,

"I-I've been... wanting things." He blurted, his voice low and quiet, almost a whisper, like he didn't want to say it.

"What do you want, Connor?" The words fell from my mouth without permission and I dammed the alcohol fucking with my brain chemicals.

His eyes snapped back down to my lips and back up again for the quickest moment and I felt my heart explode. He was so close, our noses just centimeters apart, his body pressed against me and I couldn't help but look at his lips too, the heat groing in my groin as I watched his tounge flick out to wet them and suddenly, he was kissing me and I froze for a moment, Maybe it was my drunken daze or the psychedelic rock swelling in the background but I kissed back when I felt his hand grip my shoulder tighter and he pushed into the kiss more. It was messy and desperate, the taste of alcohol very present and I slid my hand into his hair, pulling him closer to kiss him deeper. Parting my lips and kissing with need, making him moan softly in the back of his throat and I felt it go right to my heat, rolling my hips lightly. I raised my other hand to his face but my heart sank when my finger ran over his LED.

Android.

He's a fucking android what the fuck am I doing? Panic took over my body and I pushed him backwards, causing him to grunt from surprise as he hit the back of the couch. I breathed heavily as I looked at his face, LED swirling red as he looked at me with confusion and fear.

"G-g-get out." I huffed out, his face morphed to concerned and he raised his eyebrows.

"What? But I-" He reached for my hand and I unintentionally flinched away, all too overwhelmed, making him freeze. "Okay... I-... I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" He stopped himself and sighed and I had to look away from the sad look in his eyes or else I would regret my choice too much.

The door shutting behind him was like a plug being pulled on my heart and I began to hyperventilate, full on panicking realizing what just happened and tears prickled in my eyes as my mind went too fast to comprehend.

I can't care for an android like this. I can't let him affect me this way. How do I know any of his smiles were real? How can I trust that any of the things he says he wants, is actually what he wants? What benefit does he have to kiss me? I can't let myself get hurt again. Fall in love... letting my walls down, only to be hurt and left behind again. Everytime I felt dumb for not seeing it sooner, everytime I knew I let myself get caught up in the motions and ignored the obvious signs. Not this time. I'm not putting myself in that spot again.

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(A/n Bullshit is a card game where you split the deck evenly between 3 or more people and place them face down Ace through King based on what you have. You can lie and place down more cards to get rid of them but if the other person calls you out by saying "bullshit" you have to pick up the deck. If you were telling the truth they have to pick up the deck. I modified it to work with two people so instead of splitting the deck they start with 11 cards each, forces them to lie more.)