PANIC ROOM • KENJI KON

XLIV. Ravioli and Heart Palpitations

"Oh, um..."

"And don't say nothing, because it's obviously not nothing."

"Oh. Well, I, uh..." Eva bit her lip, staring down at Yaz. "Okay, Yaz, I need to tell you something, and I need you to promise not to tell anyone else— even Sammy."

"What did you do?"

Eva looked taken back. "I didn't do anything."

"What about Brooklynn?" she questioned, her arms crossing over her chest.

Eva tucked a lock of long hair behind her ear. "Well, I don't really want to tell anyone, and you are better than no one, so it's you."

"Interesting..." She gestured with her hands, "Continue. I'm intrigued."

"Okay, um, well... Have you ever looked at Sammy and thought, 'Wow, Sammy is hot, and she's funny, and she knows how to make me smile which is crazy, and I might be totally in love with her but this isn't something I can ever tell her, so now, it's like, who do I tell now'?"

Yaz stared at Eva, her jaw dropped in shock. "You like Sammy?"

"No," Eva shook her head. "This is about Kenji, I— I think I might be in... love? With him? That's crazy, right? Like, it's just a stupid little school girl crush, right? There's no possible way I could actually like Kenji. I mean, he's Kenji, y'know? He's Kenji. Yeah, I can't like him. But then I think of his stupid smile and I get stupid butterflies, and..." Eva continued to ramble, not even bothering to notice if Yaz was still listening.

The brunette was watching her carefully and grinning. "Well, I could have told you that."

"And I— what do you mean?"

"Your feelings for Kenji? Dude, have you seen the way you look at him?"

"Like he's an idiot?"

"Like you're in love, dummy."

"Oh god—"

"Don't worry, he's too stuck in his own little world to tell."

Eva released the breath she was holding in.

"You should tell him."

"Tell Kenji? Absolutely not. That sounds like the exact opposite of what I should do."

"Eh, I tried."

"Yaz, what do I do?" Eva begged.

Yaz raised an eyebrow at her, as if she didn't just tell Eva exactly what to do. "How sure are you that you really like him?"

"You just said I look at him like I'm in love," Eva said.

"Yeah, but what do I know?"

Eva took a deep breath, then continued once again. "Well, it started a few weeks ago, I think. I just couldn't stop thinking about him touching me, and, like, I want him to. Really bad. I dream about it. Is that bad? That's probably bad. And oh my god, I want to kiss him so bad, like, that's all I think about—" Eva pulled at her hair, sprinkling loose pieces onto the jungle floor. "And I think about—"

""Okay, I'm gonna shut down you and your horny little brain. You gotta tell him," she stated plainly.

"How?" Eva whispered. She looked around the forest, which had begun to grow dark as the sun began to set. They would have to get back to camp soon.

"I... don't know. I never really fessed up to boys I liked back home. Brooklynn might have ideas, but she's probably never confessed to anyone she likes, either. We should tell Sammy. Sammy knows this kind of stuff," Yaz pushed.