Luna(tic) (Marauders Era)

51. When the Wire Breaks

Luna wished, that day, that she could have switched places with Sam. She wanted to be invisible. Wanted to walk through people like they didn't exist. Like she didn't exist. She wanted to find a corner of the world where nothing and no one could hurt her and she wanted to stay there. Because she was tired of hurting. Tired of standing so carefully on the tightrope, of balancing and dancing and existing on the edge of a knife. Tired of it never being enough anyway.

Tired of the way she always knew the end of the play before the curtains even raised.

Tired of the way there never was an ending. Even after the curtains fell.

Of course, this time, the curtains hadn't fallen. She had simply tripped. Or perhaps, she thought, the stage had simply failed. The set had broken. The highwire had snapped. And she had stopped dancing. For a heartbeat. A hesitation. Just long enough to put her off tempo. Just long enough to look down. Just long enough to start falling.

It made breathing difficult. Made moving difficult. Really, Luna wasn't sure she'd have moved from that classroom with its untrustworthy walls if her stomach hadn't started rumbling. Even then, she considered staying. She was no stranger to hunger. Hunger was an old friend, a hand clamped around her stomach. She and hunger had history.

But the history was history. For two full years now, Luna hadn't had to go hungry. Hadn't had to miss meals. Had, in fact, had meals at tables piled high with more food that she thought any number of people could possibly eat. For two years, Luna had lived without the ache in her belly that was like an echo of another time. That today, tonight, was just enough to make Luna stand. Make her put one foot in front of the other and pray she could grab dinner from the tables before the castle returned from Hogsmeade. Before the story spread. Before the whispers turned into that quiet hum that followed her around like a shadow she couldn't ever quite lay eyes on.

And Luna succeeded. Mostly. Her friends weren't back yet and the tables were sparsely populated, but she swore she could still feel every single set of eyes shadowing her progress to the Ravenclaw table. It was like having Sam at her side, but less welcome. Like a presence she could sense, but didn't dare look at.

She couldn't leave the hall fast enough, slide of bread in hand, all other thoughts of food or a filling meal abandoned in favor of something more desperate. Something involving corners and walls and doors and places where that humming shadow couldn't touch her.

The problem was, the walls had proven themselves untrustworthy. Doors without locks couldn't keep people out and she couldn't think of a single place in this castle where no one could find her. The thought stopped her in her tracks. Left her standing in the middle of a hallway with a piece of bread held in both hands, feeling like someone had frozen something. Like time had paused in the moment before she looked down and started plummeting.

And the moment came. Not because she looked down. But because, behind her, in an entrance hall that was starting to see a steady stream of people coming in from the grounds after a day in the town, Luna heard words that left her falling.

"Do you think he's telling the truth?"

"Well if so, she must be mad."

And Luna didn't need anything more to know who they were talking about. To know who had told the truth. And who must be mad.

And the falling wasn't like she'd expected. It was less like a void, with the whistle in her ears and no sign of the bottom. It was, she thought, like she'd been falling all day and had just now hit something. Only the something was ice water and she was cold, frozen and with lungs full of water as she sank through an ocean she wasn't certain had an end.