Luna(tic) (Marauders Era)

12. A Departure from Caterpillars

The rest of that first day of classes passed in a blur for Luna and really the only thing she thought she properly learned was that magic classes were no more and no less stressful than muggle ones, at least for the time being. This was not, of course, what she'd been expecting.

Luna had expected to use magic. Had expected professors to demand they pick up their wands and perform for the whole class to see. She'd expected critical eyes and questions she didn't have the answers to.

What she found was several hours of sitting and taking notes on theory, paired with the assurance that they would not be expected to perform any real magic for at least a few weeks at least in those first two classes.

Really, the only unpleasant part was Sam. Luna hadn't much thought about where Sam would sit because of course, Sam would sit next to her. That the seat beside her would be open went without saying because for years the space around Luna had been left empty, a bubble that said almost as much as the whispers did.

But here, when Luna sat down without thinking, Pandora sat right beside her without breaking the stream of thoughts about what Charms they might learn and if their professor might be willing to teach them a few useful ones outside of class because back home her mother managed to fold her clothes with a flick of her wand and she really didn't want to have to do it all by hand.

Luna had stared at her until Pandora had broken off halfway through questions about how laundry even worked here to add, "What? It's a practical problem." Luna had smiled and chuckled and shook her head.

"I just never thought about it before," she admitted. This wasn't a lie, of course. But it wasn't entirely honest either. Luna had never thought about the laundry in a magical castle. She also wasn't thinking about it now. Nor was she going to admit what she was thinking.

This was Rule Number Two: Always play along. And if Pandora thought Luna had looked at her because her words had been strange, that was better than the truth. Better than admitting that she'd been staring because the empty seat by her side was Sam's seat. Better than admitting that her gaze now wasn't settled on her housemate's face, but a little beyond, where Sam was standing with a lost sort of look on his face that Luna thought must be a reflection of her heart.

But he didn't say anything. And neither did she. Instead, she simply bent her head to her notes for the rest of the class, trying to ignore the sight of Sam out of the corner of her eye, leaning against a wall and looking like he was trying very hard not to hate the world or the girl sitting next to Luna in the seat that should have been his.

Really, Luna thought she would have enjoyed the class if Sam hadn't been there, sulking at the edges of her view and twisting the tailing ends of her thoughts into darker things. Sitting next to Pandora was actually rather fun. The girl was bright, vibrant, inquisitive and clever and Luna had forgotten what it felt like to sit next to someone in class and share whispers like candy before dinner, sweet moments of conversation passed back and forth when no one was looking.

But in the corner, there was always Sam. And the sugar taste of Pandora's company turned sour in Luna's mouth every time she caught sight of him, her heart twisting and her chest aching and her mouth bursting with a million versions of the same hopes she'd been holding for years.

So Luna lingered over lunch, telling herself that if she could just make it look accidental, then she could keep new friends without hurting Sam. If she could just slip her way into an empty seat as the bell rang, then no one would think twice and Sam would be happy.

She decided not to wonder if that meant she would be happy too.

But Kendra and Pandora both still waited for Luna, despite how long she took to eat the simple sandwich she hadn't really wanted in the first place. And not wondering got harder even as Luna made excuses and darted off to the restrooms, hiding in the stall and trying not to think about how impossible this would be to keep up.