The Gilbert Witch

Reminiscing

When I woke up the next morning, wrapped in Henriks arms, I just lay there and think about everyone I'm missing from my old life. My children, my boyfriend, my grandma's, my mom, dad, stepmom. Just basically my whole family. I don't even notice I'm crying until I feel Henrik wipe away a tear. I look up at him and see his eyes showing nothing except concern and love.

"What's wrong, my love?" He asked, his hand lightly caressing my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek.

"Just.. reminiscing. I'll tell you about it when your brothers and sister get here. I'll sit everyone down and explain everything, I promise.. just, today may be an off day for me." I explained. He nodded in under standing, before bringing his lips to join mine in a soft kiss. Kissing him has never been an urgent thing, he is always soft and delicate with me, almost as if he's afraid of hurting me or pushing me into something I don't want. What he doesn't know is I think I'm almost ready to take that next step with him. I was thinking about talking to him about it today, but I woke up thinking about all of the people that I lost.

I miss my kids so much, Damon, my baby. I didn't get to see his first steps, his first words, I didn't get to see him grow from a baby to a toddler, I didn't get to see his first day of school.

Sophia, she was about to start school, I had one more school year left until she was off to preschool. Her first word was "no" and her first steps were toward my friends boyfriend who called her "Princess". He was her best friend other than her dad and I.

My sweet and loving boyfriend, Wayne. He has had a hard life, it started looking up, he said, when we met and got together, then we started our little family.

It was never perfect, but it was ours and no one could take that from us, except death. I miss them so much. I can't believe I'll never see them again. I have been trying to figure out a way to find or create a spell so I can see how their life went, where they are now. If time works the same way over there as it does here, they both should be adults now.

Maybe they both have families of their own now, are they close? Do they still live in the same town as where they were born? Or did Wayne move away with them while they were growing up? Or maybe they turned 18 and split off. I'm close to finishing the spell, hopefully soon I'll be able to see them. Even if it's to see how their life went and to make sure they were ok without me.

I physically hurt, not knowing if my kids are ok. I need to know they are ok without me. I know they were young, but Sophia was around the age of making long term memories. I don't want her only memory of me to be watching me die. Damon was a small baby so I'm not at all worried about him remembering my death, but I still worry about him. I'm sure it can still effect him to find out he was there when I died whether he was a baby or not.

I've had enough of the depressing thoughts for now, so I get up and get myorming routine done. My shower, brush my hair and teeth, all the stuff I need to get ready for the day. When I get out, it's time for Henrik to get in there and do his morning routine.

I go downstairs and Jenna had coffee and breakfast made. She had a plate with scrambled eggs, bacon made just the way I like, crispy but not too crispy, buttered toast, and sausage patties and a cup of black coffee next to it.

"Good morning, how are you doing?" She asked gently.

"Henrik told you I'm having a hard time, didn't he?" I asked her. The look on her face told me all I needed to know. Fucking snitch.

"If you want to talk about it, we can sit here and talk, maybe get some alcohol out or ice cream, we can go to the falls like we used to. But if you don't want to talk I won't make you."

"Thank you Jenna. I'll tell you about it another time, I do want to talk but I don't want to explain it multiple times, I hope you understand."

"Oh, Honey, I completely understand. Just know I love you and I'm here for you." She tells me as she hugs me from behind, I lean back into her and try not to think about how much i miss them. I don't want to break, not in front of her. I need to be strong for what may come.