Until Forgotten (Jsavch Legacy #1)

CHAPTER 40

"Saan si Mommy?" Ulit kong tanong. Walang sumagot. I looked at Kajee and she just shook her head. I turned to Manang Carmen but she immediately looked away.

"Vin..."

"I don't know, Aya. I don't know."

"What? Am I an abandoned daughter?"

"No, of course not... believe me. Hindi ko alam."

"Then where is she? Where are they?" Isa-isa kong tiningnan ang tatlong kasama sa silid na 'yon.

A profound silence settled upon them. It was a response not conveyed through words but through the gloominess and pity in their eyes directed straight on me. In that moment, I found myself grappling with the weight of confusion and unexplainable sadness. Hindi ko alam na ang katahimikan na madalas ay sanhi ng kawalan ay magiging presensiya pala ng mga ala-alang dapat ay hindi ko na maalala.

Naunang nagpaalam na bumaba sila Kajee at Manang Carmen kaya naiwan nalang kami ni Vin.

"Did you bring your meds?"

Bumangon muna ako bago umiling.

"I'll take you home. You can't stay here for too long, Aya."

"I'm okay." Hinanap ko ang litratong hawak kanina pero wala na 'yon sa mesang pinagmulan. Nabasag ko ba 'yon? O tinago nila?

"Why are you so hard headed..." He held my wrist when I stood up and was about to walk away. Nilingon ko siya na nakaupo pa rin sa kama, looking like a lost puppy. His eyes were almost pleading.

"I need to remember, Vin. I feel like there's something I need to know. I can't just sit in my brother's condo and wait for my memories to come at the door and say, Hi Aya. I'm back. It's not. I need to help myself."

"What happens when you can remember?"

"What happened before the accident?" I asked back, leaving him silent. I sighed and pulled my hand away from his grip. "You are not helping me." I concluded.

"I am... I'm trying."

Umiling ako. "No, you're not. You are hiding something from me just like kuya Kyce. You told me you'll help but you're not. Gusto mo lang sigurong makasama ako dahil baka lumayo na naman ako kapag naalala ko na lahat."

He stood up and tried to touch me again but I took a step back. He looked hurt and I almost wanted to come closer to him and bury my face on his chest to feel his heartbeat again. Pero nilabanan ko yun.

"I am only protecting you from pain, Aya. Me and the people around you. Please... listen." Muli niyang inabot ang braso ko. Hindi ko na nagawa pang umatras.

His left hand flew on my head as he pulled me closer until I could already feel his warmth. I feel at ease when his arms embraced me.

"Gusto ko lang namang makaalala. I don't like feeling lost." I whispered. Naramdaman ko ang labi niya sa tuktok ng ulo ko. I closed my eyes with the seeping comfort.

"Will you hate me if I'll say I don't want you to remember?"

"Yes."

Humigpit ang yakap niya sa 'kin. "Then hate me."

"How? Tell me how can I hate you. Tell me so I can leave this room without you. Tell me so I can stop searching for you. Tell me so I'd stop asking for your comfort." I pulled away from the hug and took a few steps way from him. "Paano?"

"Is this what you want? Do you want me gone?"

"Hindi ko alam! I always feel at ease when I'm with you. Nakakalimutan ko ang magulo kong utak pag nandiyan ka. Just by hearing your voice, I'll immediately be in comfort. I feel incomplete without you around. Now tell me how can I hate you?"