Schizophrenic Steve || ʙʟᴜᴇꜱ ᴄʟᴜᴇꜱ

Forgive Me, Father

"So be it."

... "It's incredible to me how smart you are, how much you can accomplish. What can't you do? It's astounding, really. But you know what they say, all the best people are crazy. And you, Jaime, you're—"

Shannon cut herself off, drawing a sharp exhale. Seems like the conversation turned personal. Jaime's brows furrowed, "what, Shannon? I'm crazy? Is that what you mean to say?"

"Yeah, you're also dangerous to an extent. You already know that. You have a big influence on these boys. Steve loves ya, honey. Dearly. He wants to be just like his daddy. Well— he's already on the right path since he's..." she cleared her throat. What she was insinuating was that Steve's a troubled kid, has some 'demons' to fight off. And when Jaime was his age, he was just like that too.

A beat passed before he spoke up, "he's gonna be fine." He mumbled. Then he dismissed himself, walking to their bedroom. He didn't even make eye contact with Shannon. She sighed deeply.

_
A YEAR LATER...
_

Jaime was taking on a shooting, late at night. It was in the parking lot of a mall. Some guy was armed, started firing at civilians. It was reported that there were actually multiple people involved with the cause of violence. But the man shot about 7 people, they were all obviously injured, but who knows how many would end up dead. One many is too many.

Members of the SWAT team arrived, they didn't know the exact location of the shooter. Until, they heard a shot fired from a distance, taking place a couple yards outside. That shot that was fired hit Jaime in his shoulder. He was also armed, finger slipped on the trigger which fired a bullet into the criminal's chest.

Jaime immediately took cover, put his hand over the wound on his uniform, he felt the blood. The feeling wasn't pleasant. It was like a scorching hot pinch. Just by feeling the agonizing pressure, Jaime wished he'd pass out any moment now.

He was just wounded. He could survive, right? Well, maybe. Possibly in another universe, that was the only injury he sustained and he made it out alive. Not this one though.

The only shooter in the area he was in was down. Jaime was injured so he lost focus, he began to feel lightheaded. His vision was blacking out at the same time. At this point, other members of the team were just arriving. Not in impeccable timing though.

It seemed like the man who led the shooting was in a gang, and remaining members of the gang took down some cops. Brutally, these assholes didn't just use guns. They used knives, slicing through their victims body disrespectfully, practically dissecting them.

And that's just what the bastards did to Jaime. Hell, if he knew his life was gonna get taken that night, he probably wouldn't have changed a thing. He dove deep into the pit of hell, signing his life away. One thing he always told himself was— if he's gonna die, he's gonna do it like a badass. Disregarding his family in the process. Which, may have been a mistake.

No, mistakes are something you can fix. Jaime was done, the violence was lethal, completely fatal. He could've thought twice, maybe if he did that then Steve would've had a father to grow up with. Maybe then he wouldn't have been so broken and disordered.

But no. His father destroyed him.

He still remembers the moment to this day. He was woken up at midnight by his panicked mother, seeing her in a state of distress made him worry. She grabbed Joe, the car keys, and told Steve to put his shoes on and get in the car. With no explanation, he just did what she said anyway.

And he remembers the drive to the horrid sight. Shannon drove at an alarming speed which made Steve tremble. Her face was pale, her heart was racing, she tried to keep it together for as long as possible. "Mommy, what's happening?" Worried Steve asked. Shannon took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure. "You'll be fine, sweetie. We're just going to see Daddy."

Vague, but she wasn't wrong. Well, she was when she said Steve would be alright. He had no idea his life was gonna take a dark turn once he laid his pure, innocent, little eyes on his father's disordered corpse.

Red and blue lights flashed in the corners of his eyes. It made his head ache, his mother got out the car, holding onto baby Joe tightly. She didn't say whether Steve could get out the car or not. Poor kid was so lost. He opened the door, glanced around his surroundings to find his mom. He found her from afar, absolutely loosing it. She was crying. Steve never usually saw his mom cry.

He glanced to see what she was looking at. And that's when he saw it. That's when everything in his world shut down. Completely tense and frozen, the noise of the sirens drowned out and was replaced with the noise of his rapid heartbeat. He never saw anything so gruesome, so haunting, so damn corrupted.

Everything was out of place. He watched as people took Jaime's remains into a body bag. He was gone, but his blood was still on the ground. Still staining Steve's memory, forever.

And for years to come, Steve is gonna throw himself into situations, like the one where Jaime threw him into the lake, except for now Jaime won't be there. A new life for Steve started. For now on he's gonna be seeing things he doesn't wanna see. He'll manipulate and throw himself into a story-book-like world, where he was safe. But didn't make things any better.

He also silently vowed to be nice to himself. To not throw himself into lethal violence like how Jaime did to himself. He didn't want the same ending as his father. Dying so selfless— yet so damn selfishly. He had a family to take care of. Disposed it. And Steve wanted to avoid that for himself. Ever since Steve was a kid, he'd take precautionary care of himself whenever he got hurt. Disinfecting and cleaning even the slightest cuts. And those memories hurt him in his teenage years— where he'd purposely cut himself. It wasn't nice.

But still, even then, he'd clean up the blood. He'd get some saline, perhaps some hydrogen peroxide, wipe it down. Then put soap on a damp cloth and dab gently on his wound. Lastly, he'd tightly bandage himself up.

Now, in the present, Steve is learning to be independent. He's in college, he's gonna be a detective, just like his daddy. Jaime passed down a warpath onto Steve, like it was automatically genetic. But Steve wouldn't have the same ending as his father.

Did Steve still admire Jaime? For what it's worth, yes. But one moment he realized how utterly careless his dad was during the accident. It made his blood boil, he was so bitter and frustrated. It's like his dad was asking to die, it's like he dared death to end him.

But maybe that's what made him so capable.