Bully Me ✔️

31. Shackle-Free

Kihyun closes his eyes and fists his hands. How could a proud man like his father be reduced to a state like this? It's humiliating beyond comprehension to be dependent for daily basic needs.

"Your father will need care 24/7."

"I-Is there a cure?"

"It's very rare that quadriplegic patients recover fully. We will try our best but it's better your family accepts the situation and prepares for him to be bed rest for as long as he lives." DooHee gives a sympathetic smile as consolation. "Is there anything you would like to know?"

"No..." Kihyun whispers as he casts his eyes down to the floor and bows to her.

The doctor leaves and Kihyun turns to his father. "C-Can you leave us for some time...?" He asks the maid, earning an immediate nod from her. As the door closes once again, the boy pulls a stool and sits near the bedridden man. He stares thoughtlessly, eyes zoned out with conflicting feelings.

It's when a fly settles itself on his father's face does Kihyun intently watches it. The insect roams over his face but the man doesn't even move an inch. Kihyun's gut drops at the sight, of its implication. How could this be? It must be so uncomfortable to have a fly on the face but his father is incapable of even shooing it away. The boy waves his hand and swats at the fly.

Kihyun blows air through his lips, fingers curling over his thighs, feeling the rough material of his jeans. Just as the doctor said, he notices the slow movement of his father's eyes. "C-Can you hear me...? Blink once."

At the non-verbal answer, the son sighs, running his hand over his face. "I...I don't know what to say. All my life I have been living in fear that you would end me, when the only thing I wanted was your love and acknowledgment." Kihyun blinks, waiting a moment to see if his father gets up like last time. Although, today he knows the man cannot hurt him, he's taken measures to ensure it. "Why...why did you do that to us? Eomma, hyung, and me. You were the man of the house, someone who was supposed to protect his family and tear apart anyone who could harm us. Instead...you shattered us." He chuckles with a snort, the sound holding nothing but hurt. "You turned eomma into a submissive plaything and your children into your punching bag."

It's hard to see his family member in a state like this, even if he made Kihyun's life a living hell. "This..." the boy points a shaky finger at Wooshik. "Your paralysis is karma for all your doing! How turned into a breathing dead body. I hate it and for some reason, this stupid heart of mine goes out to you. It was better if you had died of that bullet than be here alive in this condition."

The boy stands up, sniffing. "But even though I feel sorry for you, I can't bring myself to forgive you! I hate you so much! I'm broken and incomplete because of you! I loathe the person I have become because you weren't there to guide me!" Kihyun yells as tears roll down his cheeks. "For years I tried to be a good son but all I got in return was violence! You took away my only source of happiness, my hyung! I can pray for your recovery but I won't because insincere prayers are not answered, abeoji."

Kihyun wipes his tears but the next batch stains his face simultaneously, the boy bending with the force he cries. "I-I...I really want to forgive you and move on b-but I can't bring myself to." He pounds on his heart with his fist. "There's...There's so much hurt in here, I d-don't th-think I'll ever recover. The wounds you g-gave me have charred my soul. And souls l-like me are b-bound to burn into ashes." He presses a hand over his mouth, muffling his wails.

He's tired, so damn tired of everything. It's vexing to even take simple breaths.

"I-I hate you so much...h-hate you..." he keeps whispering like a broken recorder, clutching the hem of his shirt and closing in onto the man on the bed. "You know what..." he takes Wooshik's lifeless hand and hits himself. "Come on, where's your rage now! Beat the shit out of me for talking to you like this! Isn't that how you deal with people! Come on, abeoji!" Kihyun yells, shaking his father's cold hand and pummeling it on his chest. "Hit me, damn it! I know you're fuming right now, where is all the energy now! You shouldn't be here but in prison to pay for your crimes! I'm right here, standing, being served to you on a silver platter. This is—"