Total Drama World Tour: my dumb self made a self-insert

Rapa Phooey!

Chris: Last time on Total Drama World Tour... Africa! Come for the safari, stay for the near-death experience. Here, we played a few rounds of the world's favorite game. And then, we went on a wild Ezekiel hunt. 'Cept nobody told Duncan it was open season on him. [laughs] Ouch. And after all that, Heather and Alejandro voted the delinquent out. Harsh! Plus, Sierra, the lovesick monkey, rescued Cody from another lovesick monkey. Only Alejandro won and stole him away to first class. Can it get any wilder? Oh yeah, it can. It's final four time right here on Total. Drama. World Tour!

[Theme song]

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Cody: [snoring] [gasps] My socks are still on? I'm still in the same position I fell asleep in? [sniffs] I don't smell like crazy? Oh, Sierra left me alone all night!

Alejandro: She did try to sneak in. Seven times. But I sleep with one eye open for a reason.

Cody: [Cody hugs Al]  Oh, mm! Thank you!

Alejandro: Please, my friend. It was nothing. Could we get up before someone sees us? [confessional] [yawns] Win African challenge, invite pathetically grateful nerdling to first class, win today's challenge, get nerdling to vote for Heather. Done, done, and oh so close I can taste it. [real time] While you were sleeping, Chris delivered my prize for winning. Sadly, I do not have much of a sugar tooth.

Cody: Yes?

Alejandro: And as my dear mama always says, I am sweet enough already.

Cody: Yes?

Alejandro: Plus, I would rather not pollute my system with chemicals and dyes.

Cody: Can I have it?!

Alejandro: Oh. Would you like it? Please, enjoy!

Cody: Oh! [chewing loudly] I owe you one, man! [chuckles]

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Sierra: The marriage has been maybe... a teensy weensy bit rocky so far. But I will do whatever it takes! So what do you recommend?

Heather: Ugh, I am not a therapist.

Sierra: Just pretend!

Heather: How is this supposed to do anything?

Sierra: I need advice desperately! How do I make my marriage work?

[Bentley has his face inside of his hat]

Bentley: [confessional] [groans] listening to that all day was tricky. But I know how to keep my anger contained. But earlier I realized that Alejandro is seeping his teeth into Cody and now Cody is probably all on Al's side. I hope he remember what I've done for him. Or I have another plan just in case.

Heather: [confessional] "Marry somebody you don't have to trick into it, move out of Crazytown and join the rest of us in the real world, and leave Heather alone!" is what I would have said. [sighs] But with Alejandro in first undoing all my hard work on Cody, Mrs. Crazytown could be my only chance! So... do not judge me.

Sierra: Please! [crying] Please.

Heather: Fine. You wanna know what I really think?

Sierra: Yes. Maybe. No. Yes. Maybe?

Heather: It is time for you to start trusting the girls in your life.

Sierra: How will that save my relationship?