AMBIVALENCE - D. M.

8

The next few weeks went by like a blur. Draco and I argued like normal, both trying to forget that night. He unfortunately invaded my thoughts more so than I would like. Harry has been doing wonderful teaching, and Malfoy and his goons have yet to catch us. Hearing him answer my questions about the inquisitorial squad like I'm just curious is my favourite part of being part of Dumbledore's Army.

I've been informing Harry about all that Draco tells me, Harry keeps calling me his rat which I don't like. My other favourite part about Dumbledore's Army is seeing Harry get stunned by a twelve-year old. Draco was becoming a bit more tolerable during our mandatory studying. We've even helped each other. And as much as I hate to give any credit to Snape, it seems whatever Dumbledore and him planned is working.

Don't get me wrong Malfoy is still a pain in my arse, but he's a funny pain in my arse. Overall it seemed everything was going smoothly, I had settled into my classes and into my rhythm. That was until Umbridge started questioning students about whatever sadistic tendencies she had on her brain.

"Welcome Ms. Potter, so lovely of you to join us." "Us?" As I walked in I saw Crabbe and Malfoy standing by her desk. Of course, her little minions had to sit in on her interrogating innocent students. Crabbe snickered as I walked in, as well as whispering something I couldn't make out to Draco. Crabbe seemed amused but Draco could've knocked down a stone wall with that piercing grey stare he gave Crabbe.

"Now let's get straight down to it Ms. Potter. Are you helping your brother create a," she paused for a moment, thinking, "destructive group to partake in violent actions?" What the actual fuck.

I looked at her for a second, making sure she was being serious, of course she was, "No professor." Malfoy was eyeing me, so was Crabbe, so was Umbridge for that matter. "You know, Ms. Potter, I will not hesitate to use the same punishments as I use on your brother on you to make you talk. I know you know something and I will get it out of you." Fuck.

"Oh, yeah, you mean using a quill that carves the words they write into the writer's hands, that's not psychopathic at all." "Do not speak to me in that tone." Then Draco said, "Excuse me, Professor?" He waited for a nod from Umbridge, "I know Everly, Snape has us study together. Even though she is Potter's sister, they are in separate houses and I know for a fact they haven't talked in a while. I doubt if Potter is involved in anything he would have included his sister." Bastard. Of course he included me.

I looked at Malfoy who wasn't making eye contact with me. "I suppose you have a point, but if you truly believe that she isn't involved in anything you better keep an eye on her." Seriously? More time spent with that arse? Draco just nodded, again not meeting my eye. Umbridge instructed him to escort me out and take me to my dorm, in her words, "Make sure she doesn't take any detours."

"Draco, what was that?" He scoffed, "I saved your arse Potter, don't sound so mad." "But-." "Everything I said was true, or an assumption of the truth. I haven't seen you two talk in a while and honestly does he really involve you in anything?" Nothing important, besides the destructive group that I'm a part of. He stared at me waiting for an answer. I looked at him for a moment before saying, "No. He doesn't really tell me anything." I hate that he's right. The fact I was surprised by Harry's invitation to Dumbledore's army further establishes his words.

I suppose my face was a bit sad because he said, "I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I just-" I laughed, "It's ok don't worry about it. Harry tends to leave me alone and I sort of enable him. We've been like that for as long as I can remember." Draco's tone was solemn, "Merlin, I'm so sorry." "It's not like it's your fault." "Yeah well." We looked at each other and he gave me a soft smile and I let out a laugh.

"What?" "Nothing, sorry I wasn't laughing at you, I just got deja vu." "The night of the Yule ball?" "How'd you know?" "I think of it anytime you smile." Suddenly I felt sick. "Sorry about that by the way, I don't think we've ever talked about it." "I will always be there for girls crying in hallways." "Mhm." He laughed. "I never understood why you were so nice to me that night." I looked away from him, continuing to walk.

"Honestly, I never really understood either." Then I laughed. "I guess I just saw you in a different way, I mean we were always arguing, always fighting. I never really saw you as more than an annoyance. And then I see you, sitting down alone in a hallway crying over a boy for Merlin's sake. I guess it made you seem more humane in my eyes," he cringed, "I really am trying to put this in the best way possible, I hope you know."

I laughed, "Don't worry I know, I guess it made you seem more humane as well, it made us both see each other as humans with feelings." He stopped and smirked at me, "Who were you even crying over in the first place." "Ugh, you don't want to know." "Yes I do! Tell me." I looked at him and he was making a pouty face, I almost fell on the floor laughing. "Please!" "No!" I was still laughing so I don't know if he understood me or not.

"Pretty Please!" "I'm not telling you so you might as well stop asking." "No, I want to know and I know I'll get it out of you." "Oh? And how would you do that." He looked so proud of himself when he crossed his arms against his chest and said, "Blackmail." "What do you have against me?" "Nothing, but, I could tell everyone I saw you crying during the Yule ball about.. Crabbe." "Wow. Harsh. But I could just tell everyone you're lying, I mean they would probably believe me over you."

"Yes you could do that but you would also have to deal with that hassle and have to deal with some people who think you had or have a crush on Crabbe." "Well I don't know about you but I like hassle." Then Riley walked around the corner, "Evy!" She hugged me, "Harry just told me you were being questioned by Umbridge, are you ok? Did she hurt you?" I shook my head, "No actually, Malfoy kind of stood up for me funny enough."

"You are going to hold this against me aren't you, and for the record I did it so I wouldn't have to see you being crucified or something." Riley looked between him and me, "Well.. Ok then. Are you going back to the dorm, I'll come with." I looked towards Draco with a smirk, "Bye Malfoy." He rolled his eyes.

As soon as Draco was far enough away Riley stopped me and said, "When were you going to tell me about you and Malfoy." "What?" "He was just walking you to your dorm, you've been hanging out all the time, everytime I look over to you during potions you're either smiling or laughing, and you two were just arguing like an old married couple instead of rivals." I laughed, "Take a breath, Merlin, you are jumping to conclusions."

She eyed me and I said, "Umbridge asked Malfoy to walk me back so I wouldn't do anything suspicious, we've been hanging out because it's required, yes we are becoming friends, so that's why we haven't been arguing lately. Honestly it's quite refreshing, hating someone is truly a full time job." She eyed me once more but seemed to understand what I said.

She then said, "Good, he's bad news. I know you think you can fix people but don't let Malfoy become your new project." I nodded, baffled at her accusations.

Draco and I are friends, we could never be anything more. Right?