He is my liberty. Only him? (Fyodor x reader x Nikolai)

Supera timorem

As you opened your eyes, you were greeted by a dazzling white light, causing you to close your eyes again almost immediatly. The air around you was cool and dry, making your throat hurt with every breath you took. Trying to open your eyes a second time, you had to blink multiple times until you could make out your surroundings. You were laying on the cold floor of a sterile white room with nothing in it. The walls, the ceiling, the floor. Everything was clean without the tiniest stain or flaw.

You were laying on your side, your arms pressed against your upper stomach. As you tried to move them, you quickly noticed that it was no use. Without even looking down, you knew what caused your restraints. You were dressed in a straitjacket, preventing you from moving your arms. Getting up without using them turned out to be more difficult than you initially thought, especially since your legs were shaking for some reason.

What had happened to you? Where were you? In a mental asylum maybe? But for what reason? You were just a doctor, well, an underground doctor, but if that was the reason then you would've been in prison and not here. And you could also not remember having any mental problems recently. It was years since you last needed to talk to a therapist and your life was going well since then.

Maybe a misunderstanding caused you to be here. But that wouldn't really make any sense either, you didn't have someone close to you that could have admitted you in here. If this was a mental asylum at all. If it was something else you couldn't guess what. Your mind was still a bit dizzy. As you were standing straight on your trembling legs, you looked around the white room. Turning around you noticed a door. It seemed to be made out of steel and therefor you assumed it was locked.

As the realisation that you were locked in a sterile white room with no escape or distraction, you became anxious. Suddenly the white colour of your surroundings made your eyes hurt so that you had to close them again. The deafening silence around you was unbearable and you couldn't put your hands over them to prevent them from aching, which made the situation only worse.

Taking deep breaths in and out, trying to calm yourself, you didn't notice the presence that had suddenly appeared behind you at first. Just as you slowly exhaled, finally able to calm your nerves avoice adressed you from behind.

"Ironic, isn't it, Angel?"

You flinched, finally noticing the being behind your back. The presence of this creature was familiar to you. Memories of your nightmares ran through your head as your breath that you just were able to calm began to tremble again. The creature who was always behind you, breathing in your neck. It's breath freezing cold, yet repulsive warm, always mocking you for your weakness and helplessness. Just then you remembered what had happened your mental health lately.

Everything in your body screamed for you to turn around and look what had tortured you these past weeks. But it was like your body and mind were seperated, you couldn't control neither of them anymore.You heard the creature chuckle behind you. It's voice was raspy, hoarse and everything but human.

"Listen Angel, I'm not here to harm you in any way. On the contrary even. I'm here to help you."

"Help me?", you questioned while exhaling rapidly.

The creature hummed, placing a cold hand on your shoulder. It's hand made shivers run down your spine and you flinched at the contact. It leaned closer, it's disgusting breath tickling in your neck.

"Do you see that door? You can open it. But only if you overcome your biggest fear."

"My biggest fear...", you repeated, still wary of the being behind you.

What was your biggest fear? There are for sure many things you were scared of, but you couldn't think of anything at this moment. Your mind was blank. Death maybe? No, death wasn't something your feared, you would die one way or another. It was unavoidable that you would die one day. Being alone perhaps? No, you didn't fear lonliness either, on the contrary, you embraced it.