𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 ˢᵏᶻ

.𖥔 ݁ ˖๋ ࣭ ⭑ secret secret

hyunjin,

has the air from your lungs ever completely vanished, your throat tightening to the point of suffocation? or has your chest ever felt so fragile and hollow, fearing that one wrong move may shatter you into a thousand pieces?

that's what happens to me every time i look at you.

but you knew that from the start. that's why you chose me; i was an easy target. my delicate, malleable heart and my naïve, impressionable mind - the perfect toys for you to play with. when you approached me that fateful day, the minute you showed me that dazzling smile - i knew i was all in.

however sometimes, the cards aren't dealt to your favour.

there's something i should ask.

do you feel ashamed, when you hear my name?

because i die a little inside hearing yours.

there's nights where my head never stops swimming with such questions.

what was i to you? a late night text? your study buddy? just some girl who you met by chance in the courtyard?

or was i nothing at all? not even a thought in your head as you kissed that girl in front of everyone at the party you invited me to? maybe you thought of me as a conquest, a good time until you decided to move onto the next.

and guess what? after you pulled that cruel stunt, i convinced myself that i was the one who overanalysed our relationship, trying to justify your actions. like an utter fool, i crawled my way back to you, believing in your false promises of loyalty and love.

even when you discarded me time and time again, i found myself drawn to you like a moth to a flame. i was addicted, praying that you'd do something about it. that you'd eventually feel something for me.

but now, i know what you truly are and what you will always be.

save your apologies, hyunjin. you are not someone who deserves to be forgiven.

you only ever loved me when it was the two of us.

you want to hurt me? go ahead - kiss every girl in this damned city for all i care.

but know this - i refuse to be your secret anymore.

from,

✰