Hidden Pain (BoyxBoy-Jastin)

Emotions

"Baby boy. I don't know much about technology but don't you have any other ways to connect with your fans without having to go out of the house?" I asked as I remember that Ryan was talking about some video streaming he did with his friends or something. He turns his body to look at me. "I think I might just do that." He smiled at me getting up from the seat and took my hand with him.

He led me upstairs to his new room which use to be Pattie room. He released my hand and walk to his electronic device which is a laptop. He hugs his laptop and walk to the bed with me also sitting on it. He opens his laptop shakily and press the on button. He took a deep breath. "Do you think they will talk to me? I mean what if they already move on?" he question looking at me with puppy eyes.

"Jay, the love and care about you. They would never leave you just like that. Just do what you gotta do. I promise it will get better and I will be right here right beside you." I told him giving him a toothy smile. He nod as he take his phone from his bedside table and start typing something. "I just tweeted about the livestream. Here goes nothing." He breathe out now preparing his laptop.

We waited for a couple of minute until Justin press something and immediately I see me and Justin on the screen of the laptop. At the side they were so many writings pop out in capital letters. He look at me and smile before looking at the camera. "Hello guys? How have you guys been doing?" he speak with a warm smile on his face. He chuckle as he reads whatever on the screen of his laptop. I can't keep up at how fast it kept pop up.

"I've been doing better actually. Thank you for staying by my side even though I've been neglecting you guys." His voice slowed down. "I miss you guys so much. I miss tweeting and just talk to you guys on twitter but I just cant find myself ready to face you guys yet. Anybody actually." He told them like they were actually in front of him.

Then I saw the feeds pop up again and this time I could read them.

'Awww. We love you Justin.'

'It's okay we understand. We love you always'

'Take as much time as you can Juju. We will be here for you.'

And all kinds of heartwarming words. "You guys are just so amazing! I don't know how to tell you guys how much I love you guys." His voice cracked but the smile on his face was so breathtaking. "I just wanted to this streaming because I need to let you guys know that I'm still here for you. I know it's been difficult but we got each other don't we? As always." He let out a chuckle.

"I'm recovering now and I tried my best each day to get better and one of the reason and also my motivation is you guys. It may sounds cheesy but it's the truth. You guys keep me going. I cant thankful enough and I hope will get better soon, so I can go out and see you guys again." He said focusing only on the camera.

He chuckle again reading the non-stop feeds. "Ohh and this is my good friend Jason. Say Hi to my beliebers Jase." He point at me. I smile and wave at them shyly. And they started to say Hi back. "He's been helping me a lot with Ryan and Chaz too of course." He told them. "Awww he is handsome isn't he?" Justin grin looking at me. I couldn't help but smile adoringly at how cheerful he looks right now.

It's like he's totally happy and being his true self. He doesn't look like a broken Justin, he looks just like normal Justin. "Okay guys. I have to go now. It's really nice talking to you guys. I love you guys always and remember that." He wave at the screen giving a flying kiss and finally ended the streaming. He closed the laptop with still a smile on his face. "I love them." He whisper.

"See I told you that they're still there for you." I smile cheekily at him. He nod his head and sigh in relief. "Yeah, I should have never doubted them." He frown a bit. "You weren't doubting them beautiful. You were just scared and now you can keep that fear away because you worry too much." I kiss his cheek. He blushed madly and look away. I couldn't help but coo at him.

Justin POV

My heart was pounding rapidly in my chest. I didn't know why I felt like on top of the world when Jason kiss my cheek earlier. I know for sure he saw me blushing like crazy. I haven't spoken since then because of how embarrassed and confuse I am right now. Mom and Jason kept talking about some random stuff on the dinner table. I cant even focus on what they been speaking about.

"Justin baby?" mom brings me back to reality. I look up to see her staring at me worriedly. "Are you alright? Why aren't you eating your food?" she asked nodding to the untouched meal in front of me. I blink my eyes and stood up. "I don't feel like eating ma. I'm just gonna go to bed now." I told her not giving a second glance making my way upstairs.

I took a seat on my bed staring at nothing. I don't like the feeling I have been getting these days. I felt confuse. I don't like being confuse. I'm never like these. I used to know what I feel for people. Now I felt all these kind of emotion towards Jason but I don't even know what it is. At first I push away those thought but now I just can't help it. Each day I'm with Jason, those feelings grew stronger.

Like I missed him so much even though he only left for like 2 days. I cried myself to sleep, having nightmares and wishing for him to hold me and tell me everything's fine. I never done that other than when it comes to me missing my mom and dad. Without me realizing it, Jason was right beside me. I turn to him with a blank face. He look at me worried.

He took my hand in his and caress it softly. "Are you alright baby boy?" he asked. "Why do you call me that? Why are you threating me like I'm so important to you?" I asked feeling overwhelming all of sudden. He look at me in shock. He gulp. "Umm. Because you are important to me Jay." He told me. "How important?" I asked quickly. He furrow his eyebrows. "What's going on Jay?" he question caressing my cheek now. I couldn't take it anymore.

I stood to my feet quickly with tears gathered in my eyes at how overwhelmed I'm feeling right now and I don't even know why. Jason looked at me worry evident on his face. "I don't know okay! I don't know what is going on with me? I mean.. I know I'm fucked up in the head. I know I'm a mess. I don't even know my feelings half of the time." I paused breathing heavily.

"Jay.." Jason tried to reach for me. "Do you know how it feels like Jason? To feel so confuse. To feel like you need to double check what's really going on in your mind because you know how unstable you are right now. To feel scared... to constantly feel scared. I'm scared to go to sleep. I'm scared to get out of the house. I'm scared to face people. I'm scared to be alone. Most of all I'm scared of losing you!" I scream tears rapidly falls down my cheek.

Jason stare at me wide eyes. I wipe my nose. "I don't want to lose you Jason. I've been having this foreign feelings in me towards you and I don't even know how to think, or even what to do. I'm just so fucking confuse. I know you think I'm crazy. I think that about me too." I started to ramble more getting harder to catch a breath.

I felt a pair of arms pull me in to their embrace gently yet protectively. "Shh Justin. Breath alright." That soothing voice calms me instantly. I look up to that beautiful blue eyes. We got lost in each other's eyes as he slowly lean in but I didn't feel myself move as I was just staring at him. He caress my cheek softly and seconds later I felt his soft lips met mine oh so lovingly, I closed my eyes feeling safe and secure.

Hello Lovelies!

Oh my god! They finally kissed!

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