RENAISSANCE

19. Hesitation

The steam which could have brought a semblance of comfort did not manage to dissipate this heavy atmosphere which enveloped me. The room was silent, as if the whole world was holding its breath, perhaps waiting for my bad mood to evaporate into thin air.

I touched my skin indifferently, as if this morning ritual was nothing more than a meaningless formality.

On my way out, I dressed in random clothes and made myself a coffee, trying to bring some warmth into this room still permeated with morning freshness. The sweet scent of dark elixir filled the air, and I just waited.

The bay windows opened onto the awakening city. Under the benevolent gaze of the sun, raindrops sparkled like diamonds hanging from the leaves of trees and the edges of buildings.

On the work surface still lay the crumpled prospectus of the music school.

My gaze anchored on it, oscillating between distrust and attraction, as if two contradictory forces were fighting within me. DistrustIt invaded me, like a shadow hovering over this little piece of harmless material. But the attraction and the desire were stronger.

I approached slowly, my hesitant steps betraying the internal battle raging within me, and the distance closed. A held breath escaped my lips, like a silent prayer to the universe.

The date on the inscription read today, but my eyes widened when I saw the time said early afternoon. It was already 11am. Make up your mind damn it.

I looked at my phone, and the minutes were passing faster now.

And then shit.

I drank the hot drink in one go, washed and put away the dishes before leaving the apartment in a hurry, because the journey was going to be long.

Arriving downstairs, the employees and hosts greeted me warmly. I ignored the fact that they were particularly paying attention to me, and rushed outside.

Today the weather was better, for the first time since the start of winter. The rays of the sun, long absent, came to caress my face with comforting warmth. The trees, still stripped of their leaves, seemed to quiver with anticipation, ready to adorn themselves in their spring finery.

I took the metro and arrived at my stop, I headed towards the exit with growing anxiety and apprehension. The school was no longer far away.

I walked a few meters and there it was standing on the other side of the road that separated me.

The stone façade loomed before me, imposing and intimidating. The sculpted columns seemed to stare at me with their silent gaze, as if they knew I was an intruder into this realm of melodies and virtuosity.

I crossed the road, and in front of the building, I stopped for a moment to take a deep breath, as if I was about to plunge into a parallel world.

I climbed the steps to the entrance, Each step I took resonated like an echo in my heart, as if the imposing building could hear my accelerated beats.

The entrance hall opened before me like a sacred threshold to a world that was forbidden to me. The sounds escaping from the music rooms reached me like whispers, and I even managed to make out some familiar melodies.

I moved forward cautiously, looking for any indication of the path that would lead to the concert auditorium. Several well-dressed people then passed by me. I understood without difficulty that they were also spectators, so I began to follow them logically.

At the end of the corridor, I saw my guides rushing inside the only room. I moved after them with slight excitement towards the place, feeling my heart racing as I got closer to this room full of musical promise.