Kindergarten Villainy

The Most EPIC Escapades of Tommy Careful Danger Kraken Innit!

An animalistic chitter involuntarily rose from Innit's throat, which he failed to choke down before it was too late.

"Kid. What are you doing here?" Philza asked him, his head tilting ever so slightly to the side in curiosity. "It's dangerous to be out so late. There are villains about."

Innit stared blankly at the man for a long moment, then suddenly screwed up his nose in disgust. "Are you daft, old man?!" Innit screeched, "I am the villain! I'm literally the hero's number one enemy!"

Philza shook his head, "definitely not. You're three years old."

Holy shit. My favorite hero is a dumbass.

"I'll show you that I'm a villain!" Innit protested, wiggling like mad to try and loosen Philza's hold on him.

"Oh, nice!" Trick's voice suddenly chimed in, "you caught him! I tried to follow his direction and took a shortcut to cut off his path, but he went over a fucking building instead of through the alley like I wanted him to. I should've expected it really."

"Trick. This is a three-year-old." Philza said in such a dad tone it almost made Innit giggle. He didn't loosen his grip on Innit's hoodie though, completely ignoring the way Innit dug his claws into his arms (he wasn't aiming to hurt Philza too badly, he couldn't bear it).

"Look at him, Philza." Trick deadpanned, crossing his arms. "You can't tell me that he doesn't look like Innit."

"I mean... he does, but he's also a child." Philza pointed out, he lifted Innit higher into Trick's line of sight. "Look at him! Does this look like a number one beacon of chaos, or a kid that just has a resemblance to RaccoonInnit?"

"I am RaccoonInnit you fucking dumbass!" Innit insisted, increasing the force of his struggle.

"I seriously doubt that." Philza said simply, then continued arguing to Trick about how RaccoonInnit was definitely not RaccoonInnit.

If Innit was in his teen body, he would've already escaped Philza's hold. But he just... couldn't. He was weak and small, and no matter how much he thrashed or kicked, Philza's hold wouldn't loosen.

There was even a point where Innit was able to reach Philza's ribcage with his legs, and kicked the guy as hard as he could. But Philza didn't even flinch.

He was about to give up. Then he remembered.

Lady Omen!

"You messed with the wrong villains tonight, old man." Innit said ominously, allowing himself to stop struggling.

The two heroes stopped arguing at Innit's sudden declaration, looking almost unnerved as he grinned at them.

Then Innit let out a high-pitched human scream that quickly became a more raccoon sounding one.

A call of distress.

"What is he doing?!" Trick asked, clamping a hand over Innit's mouth and cutting off the scream.

"How do you expect me to know?!" Philza exclaimed, obviously distressed.

Several things happened at once.

A beat of wings alerted the heroes to a new arrival, but before either of them could react, a weight toppled Philza over, forcing him to drop Innit in surprise.

Partially distracted, Trick reached to restrain Innit, but Innit simply bit his fingers and scrambled away, glancing back to see Lady Omen wrestling Philza to the ground. Their wings beat against one another, both of them trying to catch wind so they could fly upwards, but with how hard they were struggling, it wasn't working.