Finding Myself || Complete

Epilogue.

"I know you fine but sometimes you get overwhelmed by everything and i just want you to be okay that's it." she says. "I know and i appreciate that but I don't need to take a day off." I say. "You so stubborn woman." I chuckle. "You love this stubbornness now don't you." "Questionable." I gasp and she chuckles. "Just kidding I love it even though it pisses me off sometimes."

"Okay I will consider taking a day off then." I say and she smiles. "Finally you cracked but you deserve the break you have been working your ass off proving to them that you are capable and they know you are capable so give yourself a break." she says. "Fair point. I'll talk to my boss then." She smiles and claps her hands excitedly. "Lets go eat then."

I take my plate and glass of wine and we walk to the dining room. We sit down facing each other and start eating. "So what did you do besides resting?" I ask. "I was busy cleaning and doing the washing I also made dinner and your bath." she answers. "So you had a productive day." "Yeah." "I'm fetching my brother tomorrow."

"Wow his getting released?" she asks. "Yes he is." I answer. "That's a good thing." "I know but I hate the fact that he took the fall. I mean I'm the one that killed him so why did he take the blame. Why didn't he let me pay the price instead of acting all superhero when it wasn't needed. He had a bright future ahead of him." "He was protecting you." "I know but why did he do that."

I blink away the tears and i take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. She gets up and moves to my side and cups my face. "Look it's okay don't blame yourself he doesn't too. He did what he thought was best at that time. Yes I know it wasn't really the brightest desicion but he doesn't regret it at all and he would do it again. Your brother loves you and he would protect you guys no matter the cost." she says.

"I hate him for what he did. I don't appreciate this sacfrice that he made for us. I should be the one there not him." I say and let the tears fall. Everyday I had to live with the guilt that my brother is in prison because of me. Yes he took the blame to protect me but he didn't think how that would make me feel. That's why I'm always working so I can avoid such thoughts. I manage to block them out when I'm at work.

"Its okay he is getting out tomorrow so don't dwell too much about it. After tomorrow it will all be in the past okay." she says and i nod. "Can he stay here until he gets back on his feet. It's the least I can do since I landed him in jail." I say. "Its okay love I don't mind at all." "Thank you." "Anytime." She pecks my lips multiple times and i giggle.

"That's how I want to see you. Don't cry he doesn't regret it and neither does he blame you so stop living with the guilt okay. You need to let go and move on." she says and i nod. "Good let's eat then we are both hungry." We chuckle. She goes back to her side and we continue eating and enjoying light conversations. I feel better after what she said to me but still I can't help but feel guilty for how things unfolded.

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They hand him his things and he pulls me in for a hug. "I missed you so much Phiwokwakhe." I say and break down. "I missed you too Phiwokuhle. It feels good to hug you again." he says and i smile. We break the hug and i wipe away my tears. He isn't even crying but I know he means what he says.

How much has prison changed my brother? "Lets get out of here." I say and he nods. I take his things and we walk out and head to the car. I expected some kind of emotion from him but he is very neutral right now. I can't understand how he really feels, is he happy or sad or what. I wish he just gave me a hint on how he feels instead of blocking everything out.

We get to the car and i unlock it and put his stuff in the boot. I get inside and bring the ignition to life and drive off. "What song do you want?" I ask. "No music." he answers. "Are you sure? I mean it could help break the..." "Ngithe no music or you don't understand English now." (I said.) "Sorry." Does he blame me for everything that unfolded?