Finding Myself || Complete

Chapter 49: Letter to him.

Phiwokuhle's POV

"What are you doing here?" asks mom. Is that the first thing she does or says when she sees this bastard. "You still asking that. Makabuyele labuya khona." I say. (Go back to where you come from.) "Just give me a ch.." I push mom out of the way and close the door. They all stare at me shocked by my actions. "He can talk to you guys at your own spare time mina angifuni ukumbona." (I don't want to see him.)

I leave them standing shocked at the events that just unfolded. Was mom willing to listen to dad if I hadn't been there to intervene? I slam the door and plop myself on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I hear the door opening and i see Phiwokwakhe walking in and sitting on the chair by my study desk.

"What's going on out there?" I ask. "Mom opened the door and let dad get inside." he answers and i sigh. "Is your mother slow or delusional?" "Nami angazi at this point. I thought therapy is helping but clearly dad has a hold on her." "Korobela." "I would chuckle at this statement but I think it's true. (Love potion.) "I think its actually true." We sigh.

"Why does mom love hurting us?" I ask. "She's used to toxicity to the point where she thinks it's normal to live in a toxic environment even if you get out you crave for the chaos." he answers. "You know my therapist said I should write a letter to that bastard." "Senifike lapho already." (You are there.)

"She asked me about myself and the conversation immediately went to the abuse going on at home." I say. "Have you started writing it?" he asks. "No. I don't even know what to say when I write." "Say what's in your heart and ps use a bunch of curse words." We chuckle. "I don't want to see his face. His bringing back so many memories I'm trying to keep buried."

"I know mtasekhaya. I hate him for what he did to us especially mom because she believes that toxicity is the solution." he says. I hear the door opening and the other two walk in and climb the bed to cuddle with me. "I thought you would be back sooner." I say. "I just wanted to hear him out and i asked Musa to stay with me." says Mandisa.

"Is mom buying his shit?" asks Phiwokwakhe. "No she isn't. She's just letting him tell his side of the story because every villain has a past right.." says Musa. "She better not buy his act because I won't forgive her." I say. "Just when we were making progress in life." mumbles Mandisa. "It's been a while since we checked up on each other. Latest update and tell me everything."

"This girl asked me out, the one who I kissed vele and i said yes. I really really like her and she is such a sweet person. I'm slowly trying to move on from the abuse and let go of everything and get used to this normalcy going on here. Academic wise I understand everything I'm being taught and yeah my friends are still there and still believe that I'm perfectly fine. I'm thinking of telling my girlfriend about my background but I have this fear that she will judge me and probably leave me because I'm damaged goods." says Mandisa.

"You should open up to her but only if you feel comfortable. For us trust is earned and she needs to show you that she won't stab you in the back once you tell her your story. I'm happy that you've met her and i can see the little glow going on there. I wish you the best and you better pass this term please." I say. "I agree with Phiwo, talk to her when you are ready and make sure she is trustworthy. If she doesn't make you happy let me know and I'll sort her out." says Phiwokwakhe and we chuckle.

"I don't have much to say but I'm wishing you the best and the only thing I want for you is to be happy and she better not break your heart." says Musa. "Thank you guys. I will talk to her when I'm ready." says Mandisa. "Next customer please." I say and they chuckle.