Interwined Strands | MxM

Chapter 10: Life Is Indeed Strange

As "Cherry Wine" by Hozier filled the room with its haunting melody, we lapsed into silence, content to let the music and the sound of the rain envelop us. I was certain he had drifted off to sleep by now, his breathing steady and calm. Then, the gentle strains of "Anchor" by Novo Amore began to play, casting a tranquil atmosphere over the room.

"Have you ever considered that life might be meaningless?" I found myself blurting out suddenly, breaking the silence.

He stirred, clearly taken aback by the unexpected question. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I feel like we've just completely had no clue about life like we thought we were, you know? Like maybe at some point we're just meaningless creature. We made up purposes ourselves, thinking about stuff that eventually be worthless, feeling all those emotions for nothing. Where do you think we would go? What would we achieve?"

"That's quite a profound perspective," he remarked, his voice tinged with admiration.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking it a little bit," I replied, feeling a bit self-conscious about the depth of our conversation.

"I've had thoughts about it myself too," he admitted, his tone thoughtful. "Life really is pointless in many ways. Everything we do ultimately leads to our own end. But perhaps that's the beauty of it. We have the freedom to create our own meaning, to find purpose in the experiences we have and the emotions we feel. It's all about how we choose to perceive our lives. We're the ones responsible for shaping our own destinies."

His words resonated with me, offering a glimmer of clarity in the midst of my existential ponderings. "You're right," I agreed, feeling a sense of reassurance wash over me. "Maybe it's not about finding some grand purpose, but rather about embracing the journey and making the most of the moments we have."

He nodded in agreement, a faint smile playing on his lips. "Exactly. Life is what we make of it."

As we lay down in companionable silence, the weight of our existential musings lifted, replaced by a newfound sense of peace and acceptance. It was a comforting reminder that, despite the uncertainties and complexities of life, we ultimately hold the power to shape our own destinies.

"But i don't know... there are many stuffs that i want to ask. I just don't know to whom."

"You seemed pretty much nihilistic about everything."

"Shut up, optimist freak," I retorted with a wry smile.

"Guess we're polar opposites," he mused, returning my smile.

I couldn't help but smile back at him, feeling a sense of warmth and camaraderie between us. The music shifted to "Elephant Crossing" by Edwin Raphael, then "Meet Me in the Woods" by Lord Huron, adding to the contemplative atmosphere.

"You know," he said suddenly, breaking the silence, "I think you'd make a great philosopher. A nihilistic philosopher, like Friedrich Nietzsche."

I laughed at the bizarre comparison, "God, that sounds way too depressing."

As he laughed, his dimples deepening, I couldn't help but steal glances at him, captivated by his infectious joy. But when our eyes finally met, I quickly averted my gaze, feeling a rush of embarrassment flood over me. I chastised myself internally for my lack of confidence, wondering if those bold characters in movies ever shit their pants as they gaze at their beautifully crafted figure of their crush off-screen. The thought of staring into his eyes with unwavering boldness made me want to rip my own face off.

Suddenly, I was aware of the discomfort in my lower regions, my erection caused a pain as if it had broken. I tried to hide my discomfort with a forced chuckle, but the awkwardness of the situation was palpable. "Wait, what's wrong?" he asked, concern etched in his voice as he released my wrists. "Was my grip too strong?"