Somewhere in the Haze - Pablo Gavi

16. Feeling too Real

I clap my mitted hands as a puff of visible breath escapes my lips. I can feel my cheeks and nose turn pink, despite the winter hat and FC Barcelona scarf nearly suffocating me. Even though it's been a bit chillier here this past week, both my brother and boyfriend are playing with only a thin long sleeved shirt and small black gloves covering their skin. I guess it's not like they could play in puffer jackets.

Today's an easy game; a qualifier of sorts. Myself and the other WAGs are in the home stands, cheering them on as they lead 3-0. They'd scored early on, Lewandowski, Ferran, and Felix each scoring in the first half hour. With no benefit to scoring more, our side has contained the other team and held possession for the majority of the match. 

I clap along with everyone else as Pedri is subbed off. I glance to Gavi to see if he's going off as well, but he's not. I bite my lip, knowing he's been feeling extra tired recently and this is a game we really don't need him in.

The play continues and so does Gavi. 110% all the time. That's how he is when he loves something. I wonder for a brief second, would we put that much effort in if he loved me? I shake the thought away. I cannot let myself get caught up in all of this. I can't fall for him, as stupid as it sounds. He's with me to get out of his scandals. He sleeping with me because he's horny and has no other option outside of our agreement. That's all. And if I don't let myself get caught up in the lies and fall for him, there's no way he can ever hurt me.

I train my mind back on the match. A pass to Frenkie; to Gavi; a turn; to Gundo; back to Gavi; back to Kounde. Playing it safe.

Until Gavi gets the ball passed to him again. He goes to turn on it, he had noticed he had space past the defender behind him. The defender realizes Gavi's made it past and sticks out a leg. Gavi trips. He lands on his hands and rolls onto his back, pulling his knee up to his chest.

My first thought is he's exaggerating to get a call; he does it all the time, they all do. But I can see his teeth clamp from here, and the way the back of his head is pressed into the ground. I hear the other girls talking about the other player getting a card. I'm about to get up, peering around to find a way to get down there. Every way from the stands to the pitch seems blocked off by security guards. I doubt they'd ever let me down there.

Fermin is Gavi's side. I can see him asking Gavi if he's okay, and Gavi responding with a nod before he starts to let Fermin help lift him to his feet.

My body relaxes as I sit back in my seat.

Gavi hops on his unhurt knee a few times before standing right again.

I'll going to kill him for scaring me like that.

We're walking back to his car together in silence. I said a quick congratulations to him when he first came out of the change room, but I haven't said a word since. I'm still a little shocked his little collision affected me as much as it did. I guess it made me realize how dangerous his job is, and how likely it is he could actually get really hurt.

"Is there something wrong?" Gavi asks as we approach his car. He's got his keys in hand and is spinning the lanyard so it wraps around his index finger.

"No," I murmur as he goes to the passenger side of his car and opens the door for me. Once I get inside, he shuts the door and makes his way around the car.

His door opens. "You haven't said a word since your half-heart congratulations outside the changeroom," he points out as he gets into the car. He puts the keys into the engine and starts it up. Immediately warm air explodes from the vents. "Are you not happy we won and are moving on to the next round?"