I Don't Understand But I Luv U - Kim Mingyu FF 💎

38

The anger he feels towards himself is almost unbearable, a constant thrumming in the back of his mind.

He wants to lash out, to hit something, to make the pain go away. But he can't do that to Yn. He has to be strong for her.
So he takes a deep breath and tries to push the anger down, burying it deep inside where she can't see it.

"I should've been there," he whispers, his voice hoarse from trying to keep the emotion at bay.

Yn shakes her head, her hair falling across her face.
"No, it's not your fault. It's mine. I shouldn't have been so careless." She tries to pull away from him, but he holds her tighter, refusing to let her go.

Mingyu looks into her eyes, his own filling with tears.

"Nothing can stop me from loving you," he says fiercely, his voice cracking with emotion. Yn looks up at him, her eyes wide with surprise and disbelief.

"I know what...wh...it was wrong. I wish I could take it back. But no matter what, I will always love you. You are my world, Yn. My reason for living."

Yn breaks down even more with guilt  and shame. "I don't deserve your love.... Mingyu. I'm.. I'm so..so.. sorry.."

"You do deserve it," he says fiercely, refusing to let her believe otherwise.

"You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, and no matter what happened last night, I will always love you. You are my heart, Love. My soul."

He presses his forehead against hers, his eyes closing tightly as he tries to fight back the tears that threaten to spill down his cheeks.

But deep inside him, something is dying. The pain is unbearable, and it feels like it's consuming him from the inside out.

He tries to push it down, to ignore it, but it's there, always lurking just beneath the surface.

He wants nothing more than to crawl into a hole and die, to escape the agony of knowing that she was with another man.

And yet, despite everything, he can't bring himself to completely turn away from her.

As Yn continues to weep against his chest, Mingyu knows that he has to make a decision. He can't keep this secret from everyone forever. It's tearing him apart inside, eating away at his soul. But he also knows that if he tells anyone, it will destroy Yn. She's already hurting so much, and he can't bear the thought of causing her any more pain.

So he makes a silent vow to himself: He'll keep it hidden, while Yn continues to blame herself for what happened.

He'll be there for her, always, no matter what. Even if it means living with this pain for the rest of his life. He'll hold her, he'll love her, he'll be her rock. Because that's what love does. It finds a way to make everything okay, even when the world seems to be crumbling around you.

******

"I'm worried about her," Vernon says, his voice low as he glances at Jun.

"Me too," Jun says, nodding in agreement. "She's been acting so strange. I just hope everything's alright."

They continue to discuss their concerns over Yn as they were sitting in the living room.

"I think we should talk to her about it," Seungcheol suggests, his voice gentle. "Maybe she's just feeling overwhelmed with everything that's been going on."

Wonwoo  shrugs, not looking convinced. "I don't know, man. Maybe we should just give her some space for a while. "

Joshua nods in agreement, his expression serious. "Yeah, we should respect her privacy. But we should know where she was...Did someone kidnapped her or what"

Hoshi looks worried and bites his lip. "Maybe we should ask her directly-" Jeonghan cuts him off  "She's safe and not hurt that's most important"

"But she should tell us where she was, right?" DK asks, frowning. "She could've been in danger or something."

"I'm sure she was fine," Jeonghan says quickly, glancing at the others.

He's relieved when they seem to accept his statement without question.

"I mean, she's here now, and she looks fine. Let's not jump to conclusions, okay?" He forces a smile, trying to lighten the mood. "We should just give her some time and space to...deal with whatever was going on."

The conversation moves on to other topics,

and in the bedroom Yn seems to settle into a side of the bed, her eyes distant and unfocused. She's still visibly upset, but at least she's no longer sobbing uncontrollably.

Mingyu laying beside her, glancing her way, his expression a mixture of pain, guilt and love as well.

"Love you should sleep" He whispers, his voice barely audible above the soft sounds of her shallow breathing.

Gently, he scoops her into his arms, cradling her against his chest as he lies back down.

His heart aches at the feel of her soft, warm skin pressed against him, but he doesn't want to let her go.
He runs his fingers through her hair, smoothing it back from her face as he tries to soothe her with his touch.
His love for her is fierce and all-consuming, and he wishes he could take away all of her pain, all of her guilt.

Even as he holds her close, he's fighting a battle within himself. He wants nothing more than to confront the man who was with her last night, to make him pay for what he's done. But at the same time, he knows that he can't allow himself to do anything reckless.

Mingyu closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as he tries to steady his racing heart. He presses a tender kiss to the top of Yn's head.

Yn lays there, numb from everything. Numb to the pain in her heart, numb to the warmth of Mingyu's touch. She feels like she's disgusting , like she should be pushed away from him.

But at the same time, she doesn't want to be without him. She just wants it all to go away, to forget about everything that happened.

The numbness begins to creep into her limbs, making it difficult for her to move.

She feels like she's floating outside of her own body, watching everything that's happening from a distance.

Mingyu's gentle touch, his soothing voice, it all seems so surreal.
She wants to reach out and touch him back, to feel something other than this cold emptiness that's taken over her, but she can't muster the energy.
She lies there, motionless, her breathing shallow and ragged.

(A/N: literally my heart was aching with everything single line i wrote 😞)