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Chapter 20:The peace, when I held you

On his words mom placed a soft kiss on her forehead and got up to leave.

While going out she gave me an angry look and left. "We will talk to you tomorrow." Dad said coldly and giving one last look to shivani he followed mom.

Ritika walked slowly towards me, her eyes were fixed on me while I couldn't build up the courage to look in her eyes.

"Jiju I didn't expected this from you, I hope she don't forgive you soon." She said her face devoid of any emotion.

As she left I felt a punch on my right cheek which made me cry in pain. "This is for being a jerk and making bhabhi cry," Rakshit said and I held my jaws in pain.

"Do you have any idea how much she waited. Whenever she use to hear the doorbell she would rush down hoping it's you." He said and I felt more ashamed on myself.

"I know Abhimanyu you are suffering but are you suffering alone? Isn't she suffering too?" He said pointing towards shivani.

"Isn't because of her we both are suffering, and it's good that she is suffering I want her to suffer." I said turing away from him. My own self was hating me for saying this.

"Dude stop fooling yourself, don't tell me Abhi you feel nothing about her. You and I both know it's not true." He said coming in front of me and looking in my eyes.

"No I don't, I married her to make her suffer" I said closing my eyes. I felt as if I was lying to myself, but wasn't this the reason I married her? Why am I feeling this way then?

" Don't be so blinded by anger and revenge Abhi; you will really regret if you lose this gem." He said pointing towards shivani

While his eyes showed helplessness and frustration knowing well I was not able to understand what he was trying to make me.

"Do you still think she is acting? See I don't know why she left four years ago but after today I am very much sure there was something you failed to see before and you are failing to see now too." He said but I remain silent my face didn't show even a slight emotion that I was feeling in my heart.

My lips were still bleeding from the punch I got from him and anger was visible in my eyes. But this time the anger was for me, I was angry on my own self.

"You know what, you don't deserve her!" He said angrily when I remained silent and a part of me agree with him today.

"She loves you immensely, she knows you hate her yet she loves you." He said frustrated with me.

"I don't trust her, I just can't trust her." I shouted frustrated.

"Yeah good be blinded with your insecurities, you know what her love is not fake but selfless and you will realize it soon." He said

"And the day you will realize it will be the day she will leave you." He added further. I felt a wired feeling at the thought of her going away from me.

There was a pause between us and I heard him taking a deep breath.

"Tell me Abhi are you at peace?" He asked me softly. "Tell me does hurting her gives you peace or make you restless?"

Every fiber in my body know the answer but I didn't said anything. In these two days I was so restless. Sleep was last thing on my mind at night. Her thoughts kept disturbing me and it was like my body wants to run back to her but I was holding myself from do that.

Tell me the last time you felt peace?" He asked and my eyes automatically went to shivani.

My mind went to the time I held shivani close to my heart. It was so peaceful my mind was calm and the strom in my heart had stopped completely.