Literary Harts

1. If I Ain't Got You

His muse.

            After two years since we've graduated high school, Trae still reminds me every day that I'm still his one and only muse. It honestly still feels as if the love that we shared had found new ways to grow. It shouldn't have worked, but it did somehow. I would always lock away my feelings—and push out anyone who attempted to make to the other side, yet he managed to do it so effortlessly.

Whether it had been my doubts or not, I would always wondered what about me had made Trae decide me of all people to be his muse.

            In my moments of recollection, he's all that had been on my mind. I thought us going away for college would be much of a hassle, but slowly and surely, we've been making the efforts to see our relationship through. It did make things much easier since Trae had lived in one of the dorm buildings that remained adjacent of the very one that I lived in. We would laugh on him having housing when he would spent most of his days here with me.

            I would hate it when the sun would come up because it meant he had to leave, but he'd always reassure that no matter where he goes, he'll always come back. It was in his nature after all.

            The more I sat and reminisced, the more thoughts of Trae came overflowing. That smile of his—the very one that made my heart blush had somehow became my weakness. It still amazes me that he found the confidence that day to speak to me. As dumb as that joke of his was, it became one that I never would've forgotten. Whenever I'd see a bus pass by, it'll only bring me back to when he first made me smile.

            Since leaving behind high school, a lot has happened.

            Vera had gotten older, but also more annoying. I still love her the same. She calls nearly every day saying how much she misses us. I tried to warn her about making us her only friend group, but she's never been the best listener. I do look forward to the many photos she would send of her and abuela.

            Speaking of abuela, she's getting much older with time.  She doesn't move as much, and mami worries every day that she'll only get worse. Several months ago, the doctors claimed that she'd be fine, but as of lately she's been forgetting a lot. She gets frustrated when she does, but mami and Anthony do their best to calm her down. Whenever it's possible, Trae drives us back down and I spend as much time as I can with her. Even if she is leaving soon, I at least would want her to see me walk across the stage.

            Mami is getting more tied with every day. She works more than she needs to, but that's whose she's always been. Anthony has been doing all that he can to support her in every way. It seemed like meeting Trae turned him around for the better. I still laugh when he went around saying "I Told You So" when we had broken up only for mami to laugh in his face when we had gotten back together for good.

            Khalil is getting bigger by the second. He's now taller than Vera and me. When I went home for Christmas, I was blown away by how tall he had gotten. He even grew his hair out. He wanted to lock them up, but mami wasn't too sure about it just yet. He calls when he can, but he spends most of his time streaming his video games for his three viewers.

            My family was doing good and that was all that mattered to me. I was honestly scared that the house would fall apart the moment I went away for school, but I realized that I needed them more than they needed me.

            I left my chair to grab my navy polo that read Residential Assistant on the left side of it. It had been neatly placed down out of the fear of wrinkles staining all over it since I grew use to throwing it around whenever I had been done with it. As I got myself ready, I knocked on the door next to my room.