SAVOR || s. rogers

18 - Wrestling with the Past

"Normal?" Natasha repeated. They locked gazes and the red-head narrowed her brows. "I don't think there is a normal, Steve."

Steve swallowed harshly, thinking of all the drastic changes he'd undergone. Always moving from one duty to the next, he truly had never maintained a continuous lifestyle. "Guess not." He muttered. The closest he had gotten to normal was working for S.H.I.E.L.D., but now he knew all that had been for HYDRA.

Natasha seemed to share his thoughts. "There won't be a S.H.I.E.L.D. to return to if we do this, Steve. Even if there were scraps...even if it could be rebuilt, it wouldn't be the same."

Steve's eyes landed on Emersyn again with an ache of regret for what he knew would come to hurt her. "I know." He murmured.
Steve wished she could remain like this, unaffected by the pains of loss and uncertainty. Her face was so calm and showed no sign of the weariness and anxieties that dimmed her glow. Steve hoped after following this rabbit hole of conspiracies that Emersyn would be able to live peacefully again. She brought a sense of purpose to him that made stopping HYDRA a little more personal. Yes, he would save millions of people, but he would do it all a hundred times over just to see Emersyn like this again. He hadn't realized it before, but her energy, silliness, and joy truly brought life to their missions and everything they did together. Since their encounter with Zola, she had lost her signature enthusiasm, and Steve missed it.

Natasha followed his gaze and said, "She'll be alright."

He seemed lost in thought as a glaze covered his eyes. "All she's ever known is S.H.I.E.L.D.," Steve muttered.

Natasha stepped closer and put a hand on his shoulder. "We'll help her." She assured him. "Em can adapt. We all do."

"Yeah..." Steve's voice was distant.

"Enough of this," Natasha noticed his tone and lightened her voice. She lightly hit his arm. "We got a job to do, yeah? Come on."

She gestured for him to follow her out of the room, but Steve turned back to look at Emersyn once more. A smile grew on his face that he could not control. He turned and followed Natasha out with more spring in his step than he had entered with.

-+*+-

Fury stood before her in his long, black cape and stern expression, just as she had always seen him. She could not believe he was truly there, but her body moved forward and embraced him in a hug that she had missed after her mission on the Lumerian Star. Tears streamed down her cheeks at the feel of him truly real and alive in front of her. Fury..! She felt her lips exclaim in delight. He mouthed something she could not decipher— Emersyn asked him what he had said. Then there was a loud bang that blasted next to her ear. It was followed by a high-pitched ringing and her vision began to spiral. She flinched and opened her eyes but only saw darkness. Emersyn tried to close and re-open her eyes to make sure but, still, darkness. She stretched her arms out to feel something- anything, to pull her back to reality. She fell to her knees and groped around; she screamed but it made no sound. Then her fingers found their way to her ears in search of what was blocking her hearing and felt sticky, pooling liquid drenching her ear. Emersyn recoiled in fright and tried to see what she had touched, but when her hands came close to her eyes, she found they were not there. Gushing blood came from the gauges where her eyes used to be, and she stumbled forward in horror. Her mouth opened and her chest vibrated but no scream could be heard in the pitch darkness of the void she was trapped in.