The Break Up Plan

⇉ Chapter Sixteen

"Mommy?"

"Go to sleep, Alaska."

"What happened?" I asked, tears forming in my eyes as I saw her hand bleeding and our glass coffee table broke.

"Just go to sleep," she said, grabbing me by my arm and pushing me forward. I screamed at the pain she was causing with her nails digging into my skin.

"But I want to know what happened, mommy. Please tell me." she just yelled at me and pushed me over. I tumbled onto the shards of glass and screamed in pain.

"Daddyyyyy!" I called out crying.

"God, I'm so sorry, Alaska." Mommy apologized, but I just looked at her and cried. I didn't love her anymore. What happened to my mommy? Why did she push me and hurt me?

"Atlas, I am so sorry." I heard her cry as my father came closer to me and carried me out the door.

I don't think my dad has ever been angrier, like he was on that day, and I never knew why the crash came. I never knew why she was crying and what happened. I just knew that she cheated on my dad twice and he's forgiven her so many times and then she just left. She left him.

It was everyday in life that you wonder why people make the worst choices, why they think the better is for them and why they were scared of the history being repeated. It was everyday that you asked yourself the questions you never had answers to, because you knew that nothing in life really does have an answer. It was all just a sequence of things that are common and those uncommon are left to stand by the side and watch.

My heart has never loved and ached for anyone as much as it did for my father, he was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Without him I wouldn't have been here, he was the most hardworking man I had ever met. The most caring and the most loving.

A knock on my door broke off all my thoughts, "you there?"

"Come in," I sighed, knowing that probably a lecture awaited me, but I didn't care. I had to let her know how much better he was than she. How much stronger he was than she ever will be.

I looked up at my dad and threw him a small smile.

"You've been smiling a lot lately. I always liked David, he's always brought up the good side in you. I just don't know why you've been always hiding it," he said, sitting by the side of my bed and placing his hand on my thigh, slapping it hard.

"Ow," I cried out and then complained, "come on, you used to do that to me when I was like five, really, dad?"

He just laughed and turned to the side, looking at the papers on my desk and I suddenly realized why he really was here, what he wanted to talk to me about.

"You didn't tell me you've been to the doctors. I'm glad that you went."

"You are?" I asked, surprised at first and then smiled at his understanding structure that was still staring at my desk.

"Of course, I just don't understand why you didn't tell me and let me come with you."

"I was scared it was something else. Even though that wouldn't have been impossible, but I did come home drunk a couple of times," I admitted, biting onto my lip.

"Well, I am definitely relieved that you're not pregnant. About coming home drunk, I'll let you know your punishment fairly well after we're done with this conversation," he looked at me, wagging his forefinger in front of my face in an attempt to be strict.

Groaning, I turned to him and said, "I didn't want to tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because I wanted to fix myself."

"You can never fix yourself, Alaska. Someone else has to always be there to fix you, it's how we all live. One is dependent on the other. That's just it," he explained, his eyebrows scrunching up.

"I don't know what to do."

"This is bulimia, it's a serious food disorder Alaska, you need to take this well."

"I am trying," I argued back, knowing it's a lie. But I didn't want to throw any further pressure onto him, I didn't want him to feel like this was all his fault because it was far from it.

"Why don't you tell me what's going on between you and David and I'll try to make some dinner, will you eat?"

"I will," I promised him, for him and for myself.

"Now tell me."

"I pretty much messed up real bad and you'll hate me," I admitted, turning to stuff my face in the pillow.

"What happened?"

Lifting my face up, I looked at him and said, "Wendy, Gwen and Mia set up a stupid bet where I had to get a guy to date me and it happened to be David. So, that's basically how it all started. But I promise my feelings for him are genuine," I explained, searching for some emotion in his eyes but finding nothing instead.

"Are you scared?"

"Of what?"

"Everything."

"I am not scared because I am doing it. I'm scared because I know what'll happen after it's done and I am still doing it."

"I never liked this Wendy, you know? The other chicks seem fine, but I didn't like that one with the ugly big glasses."

I gasped and then choked on laughter,"oh my god, dad. I cannot believe you just said that." He was laughing himself and I smiled at the rumble of sound.

"I don't talk to her anymore anyway. I asked her to call off the bet and she didn't want to, and he has feelings to you know? And I, I really like him, dad. I can't do this to him."

"I trust you to do the right thing, Alaska. I know you can, you have no other choice really. The only person who can started this mess was you, you agreed to it. What if it weren't David? If it were someone else, you would have gone with it and probably would have never told me this and you would have gone on and on. David has done something wonderful for you and I will forever be grateful for that boy,"

I was about to ask him what I should do about it, but he continued, "I love you so much, Alaska. You have a wonderful heart, but you don't know it. And as long as you don't know it, you won't be able to use it. You have to use it, you have to learn how to. Now, I'm off to cook dinner, what do you want to have?" he asked, smiling sadly at me.

"The proper balanced food is printed out in the papers along with the results, you can go through it and see what you can cook of the options provided," I placed a small kiss on his cheek and left to the bathroom, opening up the tap to let the water heat for my shower.

I was going to have a very important day tomorrow.