When Love Fades

Chapter 25 - Life Goes On IV

Naruto lay back more than an hour later, the sounds of their harsh breathing filling the small tent. Fuu had pushed his body hard, able to match his pace and stamina. Physically, it had been amazing. But he felt... empty and unfulfilled. It had been so many years since he'd slept with someone other than Sasuke. Fuu's body had been soft where Sasuke's was hard. Her eyes didn't pin him to the bed the way Sasuke's did... didn't know him and see him the way Sasuke did. There was nothing in this world that could compare with being under Sasuke's intense focus in bed. Naruto drew a breath, trying to get the thoughts of Sasuke out of his head. Sasuke had stopped focusing on him long before they'd broken up. He'd focused all that intensity on his job instead. Naruto had to remind himself that he'd lost Sasuke long before they'd finally broken up. This wasn't Naruto choosing to be with someone else over Sasuke. This was him choosing to not be alone.

But somehow, he felt almost more alone now than he had before they'd had sex. Fuu's eyes had hazed with passion and pleasure. But there had been nothing in her gaze beyond that.

"That was amazing. Sex at high altitude is a rush, isn't it?" Fuu's voice shook Naruto out of his thoughts.

"Yeah. This was a first for me, actually." Naruto said, hoping nothing in his expression gave away the fact that he'd been thinking of someone else while he lay naked with her. He turned his head to see Fuu pulling her pants back on with the same efficiency that she'd managed just about everything else. "Are you... going?" He was really out of practice with these sorts of things.

She smiled, though she seemed to tense at his question. "I need to go wash up before it gets any colder out there. And we have an early morning, if we're going to get the shots in you wanted and make it down to the next camp location before dark."

"Oh, right. I mean... I just thought..." Naruto stopped himself from saying something stupid.

Her gaze roved over his naked form. "I have to say, when I saw you come in, I knew I was going to enjoy being your guide." She ran her fingers over the taut muscles of his stomach, but Naruto felt no arousal at the touch. Only emptiness. This had been a mistake. "I just had no idea how much. Send me one of the pictures you took to remember you by?"

Naruto just nodded. Of course she wasn't going to want to ask to see him again. That was... that was just dumb. They'd spent two days together on a mountain, and he was obviously just passing through. She hadn't been looking for anything else. He was just out of practice. He'd forgotten what sex was like when emotions weren't involved. He gave her a lopsided smile to cover what he was feeling. As usual, it worked. Sasuke had been the only one who could see through his mask. "Yeah, sure. Send me an email, and I'll send you my favorite," he said casually, propping himself up on his elbow and reaching in his pack for one of his cards that had his e-mail and Facebook contact information. He would be surprised if she contacted him, but at least he'd made the offer.

A look of almost relief passed over her pretty face and she returned his smile. "I'd like that. Unless you'd be willing to send me a photo of your tattoo instead?"

"Um..." Naruto shifted uncomfortably, and she laughed. "Probably not," she supplied for him, grinning. "I'll see you in the morning." Naruto lay back on his sleeping bag. He needed to clean himself off. Given that it would be nearly three days before he could have more than a sponge bath, he figured he better get started.

He promised himself that next time he wouldn't be so stupid.

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Naruto boarded his flight to Tokyo feeling weary and travel-worn, though he knew he should be celebrating. He had sent Jiraiya some of the photos and the man had been raving about them. Naruto had been given a challenging assignment, and had nailed it. He'd had experiences and seen places that most people couldn't even dream of.

But right then, all he wanted to do was go home... somewhere familiar. He closed his eyes, resting his head against the small window on the plane as the other passengers boarded. The warmth of the sun on his cheek at odds with the coldness he felt inside. He'd been putting off thinking about it, but there was really no denying it now. He was going back to Japan, but he didn't have a home to go to. He had no parents, no 'family home'. He'd moved out of Sasuke's apartment, but hadn't had time to find himself a new place. All his stuff was still stacked in Kiba's living room. Where was home now? Kiba's couch?

His friends were great, but they were all building their own lives, and eventually would start their own families. Naruto thought he had, too, with Sasuke. But that was over now. What was he going back to?

He looked out the window as the plane slowly picked up speed for take-off. Somehow, returning to Japan was bringing back all the numb emptiness he had left behind when he'd started this assignment. He missed Kiba and his other friends. He missed his favorite ramen restaurant. He missed the sound of his native language being spoken on the streets he walked. The sight of the familiar lines of the city he lived in. So many things that made up his sense of home.

But most important thing that Naruto had tied his sense of home to was no longer waiting for him, no matter what flight he took. Four months had not been enough time for him to really get over anything.

He looked through the e-mails that he hadn't bothered to respond to while he had such limited internet time. Of course, there had been nothing from Sasuke. Naruto hadn't expected any, given the way things had ended, though he had checked every time he had internet connection. He'd kept track of Sasuke, though. He'd read the press release of the call the CEO had had the night they'd broken up. Sasuke had kicked ass, evidently, because after that, there were more articles about his work in the tech journals, interviews with him on the project, speculations about what he'd do next. Naruto was glad that Sasuke was doing so well. It took the edge off his guilt to know that Sasuke had been fine... better than fine since Naruto had left. He told himself it was for the best that they'd had a clean break. So he wouldn't expect any texts or emails from Sasuke anymore.

There had been an e-mail from Itachi, telling him that he expected Naruto to call him when he was back in town. Naruto closed his eyes as he felt the wheels of the plane slowly lift off from the ground. He supposed if the plane crashed, it would simply save Itachi the trouble.

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TBC..

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Cr : NaruLove11
1260 words