Your eternal lies - ENHYPEN

14. The bathroom

Mae pov

"I'm sorry I disturbed you I'll let you get back to your work." I waited for him to say something. I was hoping he'd change his mind and ask me to stay. But when he didn't say another word, I closed the door softly while trying to keep back my tears. I was trying to process everything that happened since I got here, and I was also trying to be there for everyone. Which I know isn't possible. I am not able to do both things at the same time. I  don't know why I keep expecting those things from myself.

I never would've thought that this would be the situation I was going to be in. To think that Sunoo has lived in this angsty situation for all this time was unbelievable to me. I don't understand how such a sensitive caring boy would be able to live a double life like this.

These people who call themselves his family seem so nice and caring as well. It's almost like they're normal. Not capable of all the killing they do. I would never have thought they would live like this if I hadn't seen it for myself.

I got to the point where I didn't know what to do anymore. I don't know what's real or not. Do these people care about me, or are they just being nice because I'm living in the same house? Maybe they're horrible people who're waiting for me to get out of their house. I wonder if they hoped for me to be in Niki's position instead of him.

They'd probably feel less pain when it was me. Still lost in thought I turned away from Sunghoons' office, Jungwon was standing there, looking at me with a sad expression. It was as if he asked me if I was okay.

Usually, when people ask me if I'm okay and I'm on the verge of having a mental breakdown. I break down. So that was exactly what happened. Jungwon and I both walked toward each other and he pulled me in for a hug. "I'm sorry we got you into this mess," he told me.

I wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault. If it was anyone's fault, it was my father's. Or rather the person who called himself by that name. I had no emotional connection to that man. How could I? I have never seen him nor have I spoken to him. Besides, I don't want to be related to someone who killed for power.

The first time I even knew he existed was because of Sunghoon. My own father didn't even raise me because of the things he did. 

There wasn't just anger and sadness buried inside of me. It was also fear. Acting tough isn't everything. There is so much fear hidden inside of me. I almost died tonight and there's a chance something like this might happen again. "I hate him."

Jungwon grabbed both my shoulders gently as he tried to look into my eyes. It took everything inside of me to look at him. I've always been afraid of crying in front of boys. The only one who was allowed to see me cry was my mom. Being here made sure I felt a little bit more comfortable with crying and letting out my emotions. I know it sounds weird, but maybe it was because I never knew my dad, that I felt like I didn't want to seem like a vulnerable little girl.

"I know it sounds weird but..." Jungwon started. Because I had looked at him, I was able to see he was at a loss for words. "Well." he stopped and straightened his posture. "Your father is doing all of this because he loves you."

I looked at him, and a confused expression covered my face. "I am not trying to choose your father's side in any way, but he only attacks. us because he knows we kidnapped you." I wonder if this is really how Jungwon thinks. Wasn't my dad trying to plan an attack before I got here? Their abducting me was only to protect themselves. At least, that's what I understood from this entire situation.

"I know you're trying to make me feel better, you can't possibly mean what you say," I said while accepting another hug from him. "Believe me, I am the last person to agree with your father. Because of him, I lost my mother." My emotions didn't seem important after what he just said. What he had been through was far worse than what I had experienced since I'd been here. "I'm so sorry my dad did all this."