so desperately obvious - Jake Webber x Johnnie Guilbert

oh my god, shut up you silly goose.

Cars pass by them in a whir, every time they do the univeral hitchhiking sign and every time they're rejected.

Jake starts going off about how a lot of serial killers pick out victims who are hitchhikers because they're less likely to be reported missing.

"A lot of the people Jeffery Dahmer killed were actually doing the same thing as we are right now."

"Oh my god Jake, I'm gonna go back into the woods if you keep trying to freak me out." the taller man smirks at the camera. "Don't worry man, they can't take both of us"

"Especially with your 'huge' muscles-" Jake says this with a country accent and Johnnie is feeling a little attacked at the implacation so with mock indignation he responds, "Hey, do ya wanna go?" with his fists up in a fighting stance.

"Hey man, calm down" The brunette raises the hand not holding his camera in an exaggerated placating gesture. "Good doggy." the country accent is back and his hands waving around a little as if to calm a wild animal.

Johnnie's now wearing a goofy smile and goes in to punch the other man's chest playfully. Jake blocks the jab and they bounce around 'sparring' for the camera.

As their 'fight' breaks out a car honks at them and comes to a stop.

"Fuckin' hell man, weird timing" Johnnie mutters under his breath after having thoroughly defeated his friend.

"Yeah, the one time we're not signaling"

"Do you think they're Dahmer reincarnated?" The shorter man's smirking even though he's slightly worried about being murdered.

"Bears and serial killers, huh?" Jake smiles at his friend.

"Hey! You brought the serial killer thing up - I don't wanna hear it."

The woman who picks them up is surprisingly nice and they don't film her or throw any jokes her way - greatful that she probably isn't a murderer.

Once they get out of her car after being dropped off at a local gas station, Johnnie points this out and Jake responds with a

"Hey, women can be violent criminals too!" In a 'southern mom' accent and side eyes the camera. Johnnie starts to believe that they're secretly in 'The Office' a tiny bit more every time he does this.

"Oh my god, shut up you silly goose." Johnnie mocks the other man with a sardonic tone of voice - scrunching his nose up in an attempt to be insolent. Jake can't help but think that the expression is disgustingly cute especially paired with the fact that Johnnie is still wearing his oversized jacket which is so repulsively endearing - he thinks he might puke in his mouth at having such sappy thoughts towards his friend. His very PLATONIC friend.

Capital P-L-A-T-O-N-I-C.

They finally get access to a phone while theirs are charging and Jake tries to set Johnnie up with the cute gas station worker (in an attempt to quell his own comcerning feelings).

His friend laughs it off and calls Scuff, grumbling about being 'fucking freezing' and 'dying' and 'please don't leave me with this dickwad' (which; rude).

"Soo.. he's at a funeral right now."

"Fuck me in the ass." Johnnie gives him a weird look somewhere between amused and faux-weirded out, okay yes, he does feel bad that his friend is attending a funeral but he might be going stir crazy because of ✨nature✨.

The shorter man makes a couple more calls, becoming increasingly more frantic because apparently fuckin'-everyone has an emergency right now which means they can't pick up their poor nature-abused friends.

The pretty girl behind the counter with heavy eyeliner chimes in to tell them there's a motel a couple miles away.

Johnnie looks at Jake - from his expression, the taller can tell he's inwardly groaning - and thanks the cashier before they leave in a rush, concerned about walking on the side of the road after dark.

"If I get pinkeye or some shit I will haunt you."

"You really think you're gonna die of pinkeye??"

"You never know these days, Jake.. You never know." The blue eyed man tries to put on a voice for comedic effect but his makeup is wearing off as the hours go by and Jake can see the bags growing under his eyes from their uncertain circumstances.

He guesses that the video is gonna have to be a two parter - and out of the kindness in his heart he'll let Johnnie decide who gets what half.

-

more gay thoughts

no one had a crush on cashier lady, jake's just trying to project heterosexuality onto the masses

also ahaha youll never guess whats gonna happen at the motel. jkjk im sure u all know

i couldnt help but add the sparkles emoji, i feel like that would be what would go through jakes head in that circumstance

i also keep forgetting to mention that these chaps are not beta read or proofread so feel free to point out any mistakes!

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