My Dear Superstar

7-Bitter Past

OHM

What the hell am I doing in that night?Did I lose my senses? How can I kiss someone whom I only got to know in two weeks eventhough iam his big fan and I was in a talking term with him for past 2 weeks that doesn't mean I can kiss him.I was out of my mind when I saw him hovering all over that girl so I was only thought to give him some sense so I pulled him from that girl and kissed him.But I don't even know why I have to kiss him.

I was embarrassed and cursing myself for being that dumb person again and again.I tried to walk away from there but he was not ready to let me go.So he dragged me from there and took me into a corner and pinned me to the wall.I didn't looked at his face even for once because I afraid I will do anything if I saw his face which iam currently attracted to.I know he is not serious about this he only need an one night stand.But I don't want to meddle with him I don't want to left out with abroken heart as always.Everyone whom I met are the same at the end of everything they will left me to suffer alone.you don't have to be a pro in relationship to realise this one.You only need one bitter relation ship to isolate yourself.

He asked me why I kiss him that's the thing I don't even know myself.i kissed him because I felt so and I couldn't tolerate him with some one else.Then he kissed me back I was controlling myself to not reciprocate those kiss back.Even my mind is protesting my heart was not ready to leave those feelings.That find it's own rhythm to kiss him back.I kissed him back without awareness of myself.

He pulled back from me I didn't felt any regret I was panting and suffering to get back to normal breath he is as same as me but he have that dimpled smile in his face which looks so adoring.I was hiding mu face by looking down because I don't want him to find out I was into him and I don't want to get heartbroken.Its just a kiss nothing more.He kissed a lot of people in on screen and off screen so a kiss for him it will never be a matter.And iam sure he is drunk and once he is fully awake he will gonna forget about it just like the other day he kissed me infront of P'Nani.I felt iam weak I didn't wanted to stay there anymore.I don't know why iam tearing up but its definitely not because I regret the kiss or I regret about the feelings.How can I fall for someone whom I met in two weeks ? That's the only question that is popping into my mind.

I went to Film's home which is near her bakery there's Film's mom whom I have a lot of respect she cared about me a lot.She is not like my parents who disowned me she is the only one who consoled me and accepted me as her own son.And she is as well as attached with Eve too.She know all about me so iam thinking it now I have someone to rely on when I feel so left over. She is the one who set up the home for me and Eve when I wanted to shift from Perth's condo after Eve was born.

I entered into Film's House. I think Eve is already asleep he will surely gonna pout tomorrow and be angry at me all day. I have to patch up for it anyway.

"You are finally here ? Where were you Ohm? how many times i called you .You didn't pick up my phone ."That was Film, and I know she is worried I was not in a state of mind to take her call anyway.I smiled at her because I don't want yet to share it with her.

"I didn't hear it. I was meeting with Satang."I said.i hugged her.My eyes started to tear up.Thinking about all the events happened in today was making me tearing up.its not about my family and things.I clearly know the thing making my heart flustered is Nanon and I don't want to share about the kiss to anyone.Because I don't want my friends to judge me.I have a son and I don't want them or my son to think iam selfish and all.So it's better to burry my feelings and be like always.Love is not for me.Love is never my thing.

She calmed me down, thinking I was sad about my family. I didn't protest or anything.Even iam happy that my family accepted me after all these years.Now I don't want to disappoint them again with Nanon.