Venom// Minsung FF

Chapter Thirteen: Free Falling

(This chapter is for CuriousBanana thank you for all of your support on this story dear!)

Everyone looked equally stunned that I had dropped to the floor looking like I was about to pass out, but the intense burning in my chest was too much, and I couldn't for the life of me catch my breath.

"Hannie?" Laney's voice was a mere squeak but I couldn't cope with the noise of everyone. The crinkling sound of their clothes. Their breathing. Even the gum in Sarah's mouth.

"Go." His voice instructed. The girls seemed reluctant, but he insisted and almost shoved them out of the door as they watched on in horror. This was going to be a violent attack. "Did I stutter? Get out!" He sounded more commanding this time, as he finally ushered them out.

Their feet shuffled past, but the sound was really far away and foreign to my ears. The blood rush was deafening, and I pressed my face into the shaggy carpet, reciting the grounding technique to myself over and over and over.

Click.

He locked the door behind them and stood by it, as though he was observing what would happen to me. Was this some sick joke? Was he about to watch on and enjoy as I squirmed on the floor, writhing in agony?

"5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear,"

"Come here." I was pulled from where I had collapsed, into his warm embrace. "Oh Han,  my poor sweet boy." He pulled my head to his chest as the shakes set in, and I began hyperventilating. I didn't want to be in his arms. That's what was causing all of this.

Him.

"I-I-I-" I couldn't get my words out as I proactically choked on my own breath, so he shushed me and ran his fingers gently through my messy, slightly shaggy, hair, cradling me and rocking me as though I was a baby.

His baby.

"Don't speak Han, it's ok. I'm here for you." His hand enveloped both of mine with ease as he tried to pull me out of my ancious habits.

"We don't need to pick at the skin around our fingers do we?" That was the final straw. I couldn't hold it in anymore. The first sob. Followed by another, and another until I couldn't think straight or stop them. I sat on his lap, in his arms, and I sobbed. Not because he had stopped me, but because I was confused.

Why did I care for him? When actually I hated him.

"It's ok Jisung, let it out." The trembling was getting worse, and my tired muscles were aching as the shivers attacked every inch of my body violently. Drips of a cold sweat I had broken into were beading up and slowly sliding down my face.

He wiped them.

Along with the bitter tears that were falling from my expressionless eyes. They were too busy burning holes into a slight mark on my carpet that they had focused on.

"I-It hurts." I clasped my hands over my chest, and my nails dug into my flesh as I clawed at my skin. My heart felt like it was about to break through my ribcage.

"Stop." He took both of my hands in one of his, again, and held them tightly.

Then, the wailing began. I had no distraction. Nothing to stop me from facing this one. I was falling into the pit. Spiralling in my own emotions.

"Hush Jisung. Come on, you're stronger than this. You can do it." His voice was like a hand reaching out to me in the dark. The only lifeline I could cling to.

His fingers intertwined with my own shaking fingers, and he placed his forehead against mine.

"Open your eyes, focus on me." I forced my wet stinging eyes open, staring at his sparkling brown eyes, through my own watery ones.

"Why are you doing this?" My voice was feeble and I couldn't hold the tone as I spoke.

"Because. I want to. Jisung I don't know if you're dumb or ignorant, but why can't you see what I want? It isn't your sister." I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. It was too much.

"I-I"

"Don't try to lie. You want it to." Before I had time to deny him, his lips gently touched mine. I held my breath.

At least I wasn't hyperventilating anymore.

"See that wasn't so bad? The panic attack has calmed down."

As soon as he said it, the look in his eyes told me he knew he fucked up. It came back with a vengeance.

The shakes were so violent he could barely contain me in his arms. The tears flowed so freely they dripped heavily on my pants, and began soaking them.

My breathing was something else.

I could barely get a breath in before my body was violently trying to expel it again, and a weird choking sound was coming out of my mouth.

"Jisung. Jisung-ah. HAN!" Leeknow grabbed my face firmly and pressed his head to mine once more.

"Ground yourself. Follow my breathing. In and out. Slowly." I gazed upon his worried face, and tried with all my might to follow along with him. But I couldn't.

It felt like an eternity had passed with every single forceful breath I tried to take. This anxiety was about to kill me off.

Why was he toying with me?
Why had he kissed me?
What had I done to deserve this confusion that constantly enveloped my thoughts and feelings?

I hadn't meant to fall asleep. Especially not in his arms, but once the panic attack had drained all of my energy, staying awake was nearly impossible.

"안돼." (Andwae, no.)" I murmured as his weight lifted from the bed next to me. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and tried to hold it firmly, but my muscles weren't cooperating. My fingers were loose and my grip was weak.

"Oh, you're awake?" He seated himself again, and his hand gently caressed my face. I shuffled over and slowly lifted the blanket, inviting him under.

"Come." I murmured, as the cold air began rushing in.

"Are you sure?"

"Did I stutter? I won't invite you again." He chuckled slightly and suddenly the bed was filled with warmth again as he made himself comfortable.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. I didn't say a word, simply scooted closer and allowed him to embrace me. I needed comfort right now, and he would have to do.

"고마워 (kumawo, thanks)" I mumbled. His arms tightened around my body, and I felt dwarfed in his warm embrace.

"Don't mention it."

"About what you said."

"Not now. Another time."

"But-"

"Jisung, it's two in the morning, I'm tired, you've had a panic attack, can we please wait for another time? My feelings aren't going anywhere." My cheeks were flooded with heat, and I felt suddenly shy and exposed.

"네. (Ne, yes.)" I spoke softly as his breathing got heavier. I hadn't even considered that he had been awake looking after me. Caring for me when I was at my most vulnerable.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, my little Jisung."

The last thing I remember before drifting off once more, was the gentle kiss he placed on my forehead, and how I heard his heart skip a beat when I snuggled closer to him.

But despite all the comfort he brought, this would have to end. This was wrong.

-------

Uh Oh... things are heating up!

I wonder how long it will be before something happens between these two!

Thank you so much for reading!

I love you so much! 💜