proud// 5SOS

11

Esme

"Link and my friends helped me a lot,"

"They seem like good people,"

"They are," I said, wiping my tears.

I had probably cried for about ten minutes, then finally calmed down and laid on his lap, looking up at him. He looked so tired.

"It feels easier to talk to them right now because they knew me when I was at mum's. They know like, everything,"

"That is okay. I am not angry, I mean it sucks, but,"-

"It sucks for me too,"

"Yeah,"

"Yeah," I sniffed.

"Did she feed you properly?"

"No. Link brought me lunch,"

"I am very glad you had his family," dad said, chewing on his lip, "Did she get you toiletries?"

"Link did,"

"Did you go to medical appointments?"

"No,"

"What did she do?"

"Nothing good,"

"I know you already know, but I am gonna get you everything and anything you need, okay?"

"Okay,"

"I will drive you places if I am not at work. Is Link driving you to and from school?"

"I think Jay is, maybe Link,"

"Alright. Mind if I get you booked in for checkups?"

"Well I knew it was coming," I snorted, closing my eyes as he gently brushed my forehead, "If it's Mike again,"

"Of course it will be. Also, I am not a health freak dad!"

"I was kidding,"

"You better be. I'm just saying you are little miss has to go see Mike every three months and it has been over a year,"

"I was kidding! And that is just everyone being over protective,"

"No, it's you having a cavity every bloody time you go,"

"I have had toothache for like, a month, but I can't see anything,"

"Well that is what Mike is there for. Don't take his job away,"

I giggled and opened my eyes again, seeing him looking at me already.

"I have missed you so much. Can we share schedules so I know when I get to hang out with ya?" he asked.

"Yeah. There's an app for it,"

"Oh really?"

"We all use it. I can show you it,"

"Maybe later. Do you think you might like to talk to someone about what you experienced?"

"Nope,"

"Sure?"

"I am sure,"

"Mkay... you just let me know if you would like to. I spoke to someone!"

"Why would I need to?"

"You got taken out of your home for a year, Esme. Taken,"

"I have my people,"

"Okay," he said, stroking my cheek, "Want me to see if Mike can fit you in tomorrow?"

"Yes please,"

"Alright. I know this feels... well I don't know, actually,"

"Odd?"

"It feels odd to be feeling odd, yeah... but I am still your biggest cheerleader okay? I love you so much,"

"I know,"

"Are you going to school tomorrow? If you need a day off that is okay,"

"I am going, I have rehearsals until 4:30,"

"Okie dokie. I will be home at 6, so you should take your key,"

"That thing is still around?"

"In your room,"

"Huh. Thanks,"

"Let me give Mike a buzz and then we can do something. Maybe go bowling?"

"I would like that,"

I sat up so he could make the call, but decided to go upstairs and make myself look presentable. I changed into jeans and put my hair into braids, then did some mascara and my eyebrows.

"Knock knock,"

"Yeah?"

"You ready?"

"Yeah,"

"Mike can fit you in very early tomorrow if you are okay with that?"

"Yeah,"

"I'll drop you off at school after. You look nice!"

"Thank you. I have looked nicer,"

I followed him out the house and we got in the car, quietly listening to music. The conversation hadn't been too bad, but there was a lot I hadn't said, nor figured out yet. Honestly, I was hoping it would fizzle out over the week. We trusted each other, and part of me thought that perhaps I was just not used to having a parent anymore.

I lived a whole new life now so it was only natural that it would take time to settle back home again.

When we got to bowling, dad paid and we got a lane, both of us assessing which ball we wanted. He let me put our names in, then we took silly photos like we used to. One thing that had not changed, it seemed, was that I felt comfortable being stupid around dad.

And another was that he always won bowling. When I was younger, he would always help me, and I still lost. In fact, I lost with my friends too, so maybe dad wasn't even that good, I was just really bad.

"I don't think I have ever gotten a strike in my life,"

"Maybe one day," he laughed, "Mind if we go and get some food in? I wasn't prepared for packed lunches,"

"A food shop?"

"Yeah,"

"Yes please. I haven't been for a food shop in forever. Can we get some treats? Please? I haven't had my favourites in so long,"

"Of course we can... yeah,"

"Why'd you pause?"

"I was gonna call you lovebug,"

"Oh. My friends call me Ez?"

"I don't want to use what your friends use. I am your dad,"

"Oh,"

"It'll come to me. Ez is too short,"

"I like it,"

"I know. I don't,"

He squished me into his side as we walked to the car, the brightness making me squint, then we drove to the supermarket which I was ridiculously excited for. When we got there, I grabbed the trolley, then led us inside, dad grabbing it to slow me down.

Typically, he was prepared for things, this weekend had been a one off, so he did have a list. He put everything in the cart, and I snook things in every so often. Occasionally he made me put it back, but he mostly let me keep it in there which was fun.

We got me some toiletries stocked up, then paid and took it to the car, heading home. I helped dad unpack everything, then he said he was gonna cook, so I went to my room because I had been with him a lot today.

Initially, I wanted to call Link.
Then I was gonna call Clara.
And then I decided I needed some time in silence, on my own.