He is my liberty. Only him? (Fyodor x reader x Nikolai)

Don't toy with me

The two siblings literally saw their own mother being consumed by her feelings, like she was rotting in front of their eyes. Soon after their mother died from alcohol poisining. When the authorities found the two children they were both severely emaciated since they couldn't take care of themselves properly. After that they both were being send to various orphanages until eventually landing here.

Your heart ached as the young girl told you about her past. Especially when she told you about you about how happy and fulfilled her life was before her father had died and how much she and her brother had loved their parents. Even though you never had a great relationship with your own parents, you could imagen how painful it must have been for these two young children to lose someone they held so dear.

You lead her in the living room where Nikolai and Fyodor sat on the couch, drinking tea. Both looked up as you entered with the young girl. Nikolai immediatly grinned wide as he saw Sasha, Fyodor just looked indiffrent though you could swear you saw a small smile tugging at his lips. Both greeted Sasha, who greeted them back in a quiet and shy way.

Then you all went down the stairs into your basement. You told Fyodor to lay down on the hospital bed and Nikolai to sit on chair in the corner of the room. But before Sasha could enter the room, you gently held her back by placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Listen, what will happen now is actually not a sight for children. So don't pressure yourself, you can call everything off if it gets too much for you, okay?"

After she nodded, you let her enter the room. She sat down on the chair beside Nikolai, watching you as you put on your doctor coat and a pair of gloves. Fyodor was calm and collected, not showing a single sign of nervousness while you prepared a syringe with an anesthetic. You injected it into Fyodor's neck before taking off the bandages on the place where his arm originally was attached to his body.

As you waited for the drug to kick in, you told Nikolai to give you Fyodor's arm. He grinned before taking it out of his inner coat pocket and handed it to you with a slight bow. You flinched together as the cold, rotten limb made contact with your gloved hands. You removed the leftover sleeve only to reveal more of the decomposing flesh. You felt the need to throw up.

Just as you removed the white fabric off the arm and saw what layed underneath it, you felt something in your chest. Something weird but not in a pleasant way. More like something i side you broke or snapped in half, releasing a weird fluid inside your body. Great, now you where officially going insane.

You ignored the weird feeling of something spreading inside you like a disease and moved over to Fyodor again. His face looked indiffrent as always. You carefully pinched at his collarbone.

"Do you feel any pain?"

He shook his hand. You took a deep breath before you held up the detached limb to Fyodor's body like it originally has been and slowly started to stitch it together. It wasn't the first time you stitched something back together, but this time you stitching a rotten limb to a body. It took all your will power not to throw up then and there.

Fyodor didn't even have an expression. It was almost like he didn't care, like it wasn't something that made you sick to the stomach. After you were done you took a step back, looking at your work. It was a disgusting sight. A dead limb connected with a living body. You wanted to sit down, to vomit, to cry even, but you just took another deep inhale and looked at Sasha who had her gaze fixated on Nikolai who were showing her some card tricks to distract her from the gruesome scene in front of her.

You gently tapped Sasha on the shoulder, startling her. You motioned her to come closer. You really didn't want to do this if you were honest, but Sasha seemed to be fine with the whole situation... for now.

You felt a heavy guilt as you guided the young child to the hospital bed, but she didn't even flinch at the sight of the rotten limb stitched to a human body. She just looked up into Fyodor's eyes, asking for permission. He just nodded. Then Sasha placed her hands on the part where the stitches were and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

Soon her hands began to glimmer in a green light and something happened to Fyodor's body. The stitches began to disappear, being replaced with fresh skin, as pale as the rest of Fyodor's body. Slowly his whole arm began to heal. It was like it was resetted. The rotten flesh began to freshen up before they were covered in skin. It took some time but the ability eventually reached Fyodor's hand.

You stood there, mesmerized by the ability of this child. It was truly a wonderful gift. As Fyodor's arm was restored, Sasha opened her eyes and took a step back. Fyodor lifted his new arm and examinated it. He looked at his hand very closely before looking to Sasha. Then he moved his new hand to gently ruffle her hair.

"Thank you, little one."

Sasha looked away, a slight pink colour spreading over her cheeks.

"You're welcome", she whispered.

Later that evening you sat in your bed. Sasha was already back at the orphanage and Fyodor and Nikolai already went to sleep, so you were alone with your thoughts. You still thought about that weird feeling you had as you stitched the arm back onto Fyodor's shoulder. You never felt anything like this and if you were honest it scared you.

It scared you because you didn't know what it was. You didn't know if it could be potentionally dangerous. Your thoughts went wild with the most worst case scenarious that you didn't realise how you were hurting yourself. You bit onto your thumb while you scratched at your arm with the other hand. You tasted blood in your mouth already and the place you scratched was burning. You sighed. Hurting yourself while overthinking was a bad habit of yours.

You got up from bed and wanted to go downstairs into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Drinking something always helped you to calm down your nerves. As you passed your music room, you saw that the light was on. Did leave it on? No, you could hear voices from inside. Quiet and carefully you approached the door, opening it without a sound.

Inside you saw Fyodor and Nikolai. Fyodor sat on a chair, still eyeing his restored arm. Nikolai stood beside him, looking down on his arm as well. They were talking, but you couldn't understand what they said.

Suddenly you saw that Nikolai leaned down to the black haired russian, getting closer to his face. Your breath hitched silently and your heart skipped a beat as you saw how the white haired man gently pressed his lips on Fyodor's. Without thinking about the noise you would make, you closed the door again and walked back to your room.

Tears began to form in your eyes, but quickly wiped them away with your sleeve. You didn't even know why you were crying. Nikolai wasn't your lover anymore, he had the right to kiss someone else. You shouldn't feel like this, you shouldn't cry right now. You had no right to cry about it. But deep down you knew, you always knew, that you could never move on from Nikolai. No matter how much you tried.

Before you could reach your room, you heard footsteps behind you and soon you felt a hand being placed on your shoulder. You didn't need to turn around to know that it was Nikolai. He gently pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you. He turned you around and looked into your face. His face was unusually serious with a hint of sadness.

"Don't cry", he whispered before leaning closer and pressed his lips on yours, gently, like he did with Fyodor just moments ago. For a second you were young again, wanting to kiss him back, wishing to hold him close because he was your lover. But then tears started to roll down your face. You weren't young anymore. Nikolai wasn't your lover anymore. And he just kissed someone on the lips. Someone that wasn't you. This realisation made your heart ache as you shoved Nikolai away from you.

The man looked surprised for once. He didn't expect to get shoved away. You actually startled him.

"Don't toy with me, Nikolai."

With that you turned around, went into your room and locked the door.

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