˗ˏˋ ✨ 'ˎ˗ 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 ───
Emily leaves to accept a job at Interpol, because she can no longer withhold her feelings for her co-worker and best friend; Jennifer Jareau. When she comes back two years later for a special case, what will happen?
T...
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"And you know damn well, for you I would ruin myself, a million little times."
- Taylor swift, Illicit affairs
Emily waits nervously for JJ, impatiently tapping her fingers on the couch. She told Prentiss she'd be coming over after work. She has no clue what it's about, but she fears for the worst. Even though she doesn't want to believe it, the thought of this being the end has entered her head. What would she even do with herself? Before she's able to go further into the rabbit hole, there's a knock on the door, JJ.
"Hey." Jennifer smiles softly, but it isn't the same smile the blonde has reserved for Emily, it's a much, much colder one. Without saying a word, Prentiss can already feel the wall building up between the two of them. "Come in." She says, making space for JJ to enter her apartment. She's wearing a sweater with jeans, which isn't something the blonde would wear to work. Even though they've known each other for ages, Emily hasn't seen JJ in a lot of leisure outfits.
"I'm sorry if I scared you earlier at work." Jennifer says, slightly tilting her head as she sits down on the velvet couch. Her expression however remains unreadable. "It's fine, you know you can tell me everything, right?" Emily reassures the blonde, even though she still isn't quite sure about the seriousness of this talk. JJ nods, but her demeanor switches to a much sadder one. Almost like she's having a hard time with the reassurance the older woman just gave her, which confuses Emily even more.
"There's no easy way to say this." She starts, sighing. Prentiss can feel the wall of strength she built up inside crumble, her entire heart shattering as she's trying to process these words. She tries to remain calm, but something in her gaze must've given her away, because Jennifer's head has tilted even more, the tears welling up in her eyes. She's apologizing for what she's about to say, without using any words. Expressing themselves without words was something the two women were good at during their time as friends, and their time as lovers. Right now, Emily wishes that she couldn't understand what JJ was saying with her eyes, she wishes she could stay oblivious for just a little while longer.
"This-" She tries, pausing for a few seconds before continuing. "We have to stop, with whatever we're doing right now." She lets out, and a single tear escapes her eye. Prentiss doesn't even dare to look up at the blonde, keeping her focus on the rug beneath them. "Baby." Jennifer whispers, practically begging for the raven haired woman's attention. "Don't call me baby." Prentiss says blandly, a sudden anger in her tone.
"Emily, you know it's the right thing to do, the right choice to make." JJ lets out, convincing Prentiss as well as herself. The raven haired woman looks up at the blonde, slightly shaking her head. "I knew this was going to happen. I should've seen it coming." She sighs, already blaming herself for the situation. Jennifer frowns, standing up and taking a step closer to Emily. "Em, don't say that. It's my fault entirely." She says, trying even harder to keep her tears inside.
"I knew you were going to choose him, I shouldn't have dragged you into this." She shakes her head again, this time clearly frustrated with herself. Not knowing how else to calm her down, JJ grabs a hold of Prentiss' cold hands. No matter where they are, Emily's hands always seem to be cold. JJ has been the one to warm them all these years. The thought of losing the blonde makes the older woman want to break down in tears, but Jennifer's touch is slightly calming her down.
"I'm tired, Em. I'm tired of pretending to go on run's to meet up with you, and I'm tired of pretending." She sighs once more, her voice becoming more instable by the second. She tilts her head once more before looking up to stop the tears from running. "I know." Is all Emily manages to say. JJ looks at her with a guilty expression. "I'm sorry." The blonde sighs, unable to keep her emotions in this time. The tears start flowing down her cheeks, but the raven haired woman remains bland. She feels numb to the situation, her body not fully processing it.
"You deserve a family, and if you truly love Will, then I'm happy for you. I'll do anything for you Jayge, even if that means letting go." She reassures, resting her hand on the blonde's arm. She used to do this whenever Jennifer got upset over a case, and now it has a sort of nostalgic and safe feeling to it. JJ doesn't say another word, as she lets herself fall into the older woman's arms, holding her close one last time. "I'm not asking you to do anything, Em." Jennifer lets out in between sobs, knowing just how much Emily is willing to do for her. "For you, I'd ruin myself a million little times, and you know it." Prentiss whispers softly, holding the blonde close, unsure how much time they have left together.
After a few minutes, Jennifer pulls away from the hug. It's time for her to go, and they both know it. "Go." Emily whispers, not wanting to hold JJ back any more than she already has. All she wants is for her to be happy, even if it isn't with her. That's all Emily has ever wanted, it's why she left for two years. And even though it broke her to leave, she knows she'd be willing to do it all over again, and given the situation, she probably has to. The last thing Emily wants is to cause the woman she loves most in this world, to be in any more pain. JJ walks over to the front door, opening it. She looks over her shoulder, giving the older woman a sad nod, her lips pursed together. "I love you." She says, stepping out of the apartment. Before Prentiss has time to answer, she closes the door behind her. This was it.
---
"Hey kid, are you alright? You never call me this late." Derek says, standing in the hallway of Emily's apartment after he received a call from her, requesting for him to come over. Prentiss still hasn't allowed herself to cry, keeping all the emotions inside. "Please, don't call me kid."She shakes her head, annoyed enough to call out his nickname for her. Derek frowns his dark eyebrows, his eyes full of questions and curiousity.
"It's really over this time." She whispers, answering him. It was barely audible, but Morgan heard it. He quickly steps closer, wrapping his arms around the raven haired woman. The second Emily feels his touch, she lets out every single emotion she's been feeling for the past hour, crying until she physically can't cry anymore. "It's okay." He whispers, stroking her hair.
After a while, the two break apart as Prentiss wipes her last tears. "You know what this means." She says, looking down at the floor. "You don't have to, and you know it." He says, immediately understanding. "But I do, I have no other option. She taught me a language I can't speak with anyone else, she makes me feel like I'm worth something." She starts, closing her eyes for a second while thinking of the blonde. "I look like a godforsaken mess, but I don't even care." Emily sighs, biting her lip while shaking her head. "Because you know what the crazy thing is? It was all worth it. The clandestine meetings, the longing stares, it was all worth it." She looks up at Morgan, and in that moment, he knows that this is the last time he'll see her.
"I can't say anything to change your mind, can I?" Derek tries, regardless of the obvious answer. Emily shakes her head, pursing her lips together in this bittersweet moment. "Just know it's for the better." They both know it's for the better, but Prentiss feels the need to confirm it anyways. And with that, Morgan leaves her apartment, closing the door behind him one last time.
