Love & Cigarettes

Chapter 11 - Dean tattoo

As I take one last sip of my coffee, I decide to switch my phone back on and check on my mom .

As soon as the phone is back on, I see that I  have many messages and a missed call from Dean and just four from my mom about three minutes ago.

I don't feel like seeing his face right now so I just select all his messages at once and press delete without reading them. I will get him out of my life - I have to.

But for now, I need to go back inside because my mom is calling me - she's back I guess Carol must've told her I'm here.

I get up from where I'm seated and look for the nearest trash bin to dispose of this disposable coffee cup.

I walk towards it and throw in the cup and as I turn around, Dean is standing behind me like a statue. He is not smiling or anything and his face is unreadable.

I look around around us and I am debating wether scream or run as fast as I can because I might be in danger.

" I need to talk to you" he says.

" No, I have nothing to say to you and I need to go back inside", I say but I don't move. He walks slowly towards me.

" Stay where you are or I'll scream", I warn him.

This part of the complex is isolated- so if he tries to harm me in anyway and hide my body, he'd do so without ever getting caught.

Actually no, this is my mom's salon complex and I am not going to be intimated by him. I will stand my ground.

He stops right in front of me then looks at me,

" What you saw inside is not what you think it is", he says,

" Now can we just talk without you trying to run away from me?", he says.

Oh the disrespect.

As I am looking at him, I can feel that my anger is back and if he doesn't get out of my way I will kick him.

I would slap him too but he is a bit tall so I wouldn't reach his cheek quick enough.

" No" I say looking at him and he sighs.

" Well...you're not going back inside then and I am not joking", he says as he takes out a cigarette and lights it up to smoke it.

I would never get tired of looking at him but sometimes his energy is just so heavy, whenever he stares at me with his dead eyes, my spirit feels trapped.

I wonder if other people who are close to him feel it too.

I want to get away from him but my heart tells me that he wouldn't hurt me. I replay his acts of kindness from the previous days in my mind and the fear slowly leaves my body.

I don't want to talk him either, as I am still hurt and angry so all I need to do is to just get away from him.

Dean steps closer and I try to walk faster and run past him but I am immediately stopped by a very tight, rough and painful grip on my arm. I wince and he pushes me back against the wall to face him.

" Dean, let go. You are hurting me", I scream in pain and panic.

He immediately let's go and steps back and I feel relief on my arm and I try to rub the painful area with my other hand. I feel like crying as I continue rubbing my arm, trying ease the pain.

How can hold me like that?

How dare he?!

I am scared to look up at him. I know he is looking at me. He should apologise for almost breaking my arm but he doesn't.