onze

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I must have laid in bed for hours. I couldn't get up. I know they said drugs are bad, but I didn't imagine feeling this gross. I wanted to throw up, and cry for hours, and eat all the food and just die. I couldn't remember anything from last night, and I was worried. What if I fucked someone? What if I killed someone? What if I kissed my enemy.

I mentally shuddered, unable to move.

Who knew drugs fucked you up this bad.

Noted, don't take acid at parties. Or in general.

I think I was on my 3rd hour of just staring out the window, listening to the birds sing. At least they could be happy. Silence filled the house, until the front door opened and footsteps came up my stairs, getting louder with each step. I wasn't worried who it was. I wasn't worried who I was. Man, I'm so fucked up.

I didn't look up, I didn't have the energy, but once he laid down next to me and pulled me into him, I could smell his cologne and pinpointed that it was Calum in my bed. I should push him off, tell him to leave, but his touch was warm. I liked feeling his arms around me, his chest against my back, his dick against my ass.

Haha.

"How'd you sleep?" He mumbled, his warm breath running down my neck.

I shrugged, goosebumps forming along my arms.

It went silent for a couple minutes, just us laying there, our breathing being the only thing we could hear above the birds voices. His finger tips traced shapes onto my stomach slowly, then made their way to my hip to trace circles. I closed my eyes went he placed small kisses on my neck. Even though his lips were chapped, (the fucking boy doesn't know how to apply chapstick every once and a while), they were still nice against my skin. He pulled me onto my back, hovering over me with his body between my legs.

I didn't have any energy until now, because it's fucking Calum. He pressed his lips against mine, moving in sync until I realised what was happening and pushed him away with my hands on his chest.

"No," I whispered, shaking my head. After what he did at school, I don't want his lips anywhere near mine. I slid my legs off him and let my feet touch the cold floor.

"Cam." He called, following me down the stairs.

"Leave me alone." I sighed.

"Fucking talk to me! You ignore me all day at school then you did that shit at the party! Cameron!" He yelled, stopping at the half way point of the staircase. I turned on my heal, looking him in with an annoyed expression.

"I don't wanna talk anymore, Calum! I'm sick of talking! Just get out of my house!"

"No, I'm not leaving until you tell me why you're being such a bitch!"

I gaped at him, "I'm being a bitch?! I'm not the one sucking faces with a whore after I fucked my bestfriend!"

"I mean you actually kind of did. But that's not the point! She's just a cover up!"

"For what? What's so wrong that you have to hide in some girls skirt?!" I couldn't believe him. Just spitting these lies. Cover up, my ass.

"To cover up the fact that I'm in love with my best fucking friend, Cameron!" He yelled. I went silent.

You a lie. That's what you are, Calum Hood. A big fat lie.

"I would really prefer you not lie to my face, Calum." I scoffed.

He ran down the stairs, meeting me face to face and taking my hands in his, "That's the thing, Cam. I'm not fucking lying."

I pulled my hands away, "You are. You told Cathy Reeves you loved her for an entire year just so you could fuck her every night."

"She had a nice mouth, but don't bring that up. I'm serious Cameron."

"That's cool. I don't care." I crossed my arms.

"Why are you so fucking stubborn?!" He yelled, groaning in frustration.

"Because, this isn't a movie, Calum! We are not characters that someones writing, we don't magically in love because we're best friends!"

"Oh my god, you just don't fucking get it, Cammie. I'm in love with you. I love you. I have for 13 years."

"Yeah, Cal, I love me too. But I still don't care, you're a fucking liar. You just want someone to wet your dick." I rolled my eyes, walking away to the kitchen.

"Can't you just understand it's more than sex?" He sighed, probably watching me reach into the cabinet and grab my pills. I swallowed two down with water.

"No. I don't understand, because you're telling me this right after I let you hit it." I turned back to him with my arms folded, "Nothing is more than sex to you, Calum. It never will be. And because I know you, you will do anything to get what you want."

"For fucks sake, come on." He grabbed my hand, tugging me behind him as he walked into the front room.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked before he forced me to sit on the couch.

"We're gonna fucking talk about this."

=

OH

OH

OHHHHHHHHHHHH

BABY COME HOME

DID U EVER LOVE HER DO YOU KNOW

oh shit

Jet Pack Blues played at the perfect time

i wish it played before so i could tell you to listen before you read this chapter but i'm trash

anyways

ily

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