When It Rains In Ocala

32- Remember The Talk

To me, you’ll always be eighteen and beautiful. And dancing away with my heart.
-Lady Antebellum, Dancing away with my heart

“You look tired.” Evan commented.

I nodded and rested my head on his lap. “It’s been a long day.” That was the understatement of the century. Today was the most exhausting day I’d ever had to endure. I was basically glued to Evan’s side, but I also had to juggle speaking to my friends, especially with the new ring on my finger, my dad and Brendon since my dad still wasn’t convinced that I was one hundred percent okay. And then I had to make sure that I kept my distance from Jason and Laura to ignore the bubbling pool of guilt in the pit of my stomach. Emily wanted to play before dinner and Evan’s dad was adamant about meeting me- much to my disappointment. We’d shared an awkward conversation that I kept as short as possible. I’d been torn in so many directions during the day.

And at nine, everyone was sent home. Everybody left with hugs goodbye as they left, Emily, Evan’s dad, Kyle and his mom- who hadn’t come into the hospital- were all staying at Evan’s house- I can’t imagine how crowded that must have been.

But with me refusing to leave, the nurses finally appeased and allowed me to stay with Evan.

“If you’re so tired, then sleep. I know it’s been a pretty tough 24 hours.” Evan mumbled.

“To say the least.” I snorted, sitting down in the uncomfortable chair beside the bed with my hand in his. “Wake me up if you need me, Evan. I mean it.” I told him.

He smiled at me before pulling my hand so that I leaned closer to him and he placed his lips on mine. “You’re worrying too much.”

“I don’t want you to be in pain.” I said.

“I have a gaping hole through my chest, Princess. Pain is kind of inevitable.” He told me with a small smile.

“Damn it, Evan.” I snapped irritatedly. “This isn’t funny.”

“I know.” Evan sighed with an “I’m sorry” look in his eyes. “But being serious about it isn’t going to make it any better.”

“I wish it was me instead of you.” I whispered weakly.

“Well, it’s not.” Evan snapped harshly. “And I’m glad that it was me, I don’t regret jumping in front of that bullet, baby, I’d do it a hundred times over to save you.”

 “You should have let him shoot me.” I croaked in a shaky whisper as my limbs started to shake with guilt.

“No, Maggie. I shouldn’t have.” He told me. “Let’s just go to sleep, okay?”

I sighed heavily and nodded. “Okay, fine.” I didn’t want to upset Evan, so I rested my head and closed my eyes, keeping my hand tightly in his. “I love you, Evan.”

“I love you too, Princess.” He mumbled. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” I whispered, quickly drifting off into sleep.

I was quickly woken what felt like minutes later to the sound of whispered mumbling. My eyes tiredly fluttered open to a nearly pitch black room, the only light coming from the hallway. I remained still until I realized that Evan’s hand was no longer encasing mine, leaving it cold. More alert now, I looked up on the bed where Evan was resting, but he wasn’t asleep. And what I saw in that moment changed everything I thought about anything, it made me see Evan in a whole new light, it made my heart constrict with pain and agony.

Evan was crying.

I’d never seen him cry before. For a while, I didn’t move, as much as it pained me. I figured that he waited for me to go to sleep because he didn’t want me to see him cry, and I didn’t want to ruin his small window of privacy, so I remained still and silent. But the look of fear and pain on his face was more than I’d ever seen on one person and it would have brought me to my knees if I was standing.