You Don't Know What I'd Do For You (Love you like oxygen)

thirty-one

*A/N* Hello, everyone, I'm back with another chapter. I decided to do Marcel for this one because gosh, he needs some work. Thank you so much to everyone who is still with me after all this time, it feels like forever ago when I started this book and I never imagined it would make it this far. Not to be too sappy or anything, I just really do appreciate those of you who are sticking with me to the bitter end. Happy reading everyone, there are no trigger warnings for this chapter, so please enjoy!

Marcel POV

The halls were quiet as I leisurely strolled through the compound. The warm, morning sun poured in from the large windows and bathed the house in a warmth it had been lacking for a long while. Even the bustling streets of New Orleans had taken a day of respite, giving the day a calm, relaxed, care-free air to it. After all the long days of worry, everything was finally settling back into place and starting to feel right again.

I had at last decided to go and see Elijah today, after much deliberation. My position within the Mikaelson family was almost constantly shifting, it was always hard to tell where I stood, especially in times like these. The past days were ones that I had spent trying to figure out exactly that, what it meant to be adopted, but kept at arm's length, loved like a son, but not by a father, renamed to Marcellus, but not to a Mikaelson. I had kept my distance the first two days, given Elijah and his siblings time enough to spend together, not wanting to interrupt or encroach. Not wanting to overstep a boundary that wasn't my place to cross.

But today I had decided I would try my luck.

~~~~~

I had just rounded the corner that turned down the corridor to Elijah's rooms when I was suddenly stopped short by the sight of the man himself. He was just outside his bedroom door, trapped in a shadowed space of the hall as slices of sunlight  came in through the windows on either side. Though the skin underneath was healed, the sleeve of his shirt looked as though it had been torched from his earlier attempts at crossing through the barrier.

"Oh- Elijah...here," I stuttered out, rushing forward to shutter the blinds, "Sorry, I should've had someone block these out."

"No, it's alright," he assured, shaking his head at my apologies, "I... hadn't thought of it either," he added, running his fingers over the spot where his daylight ring would usually be.

I nodded, hesitating on what to say next. "Well, where were you headed?" I finally managed, "I can help you get there until we can get you another ring."

~~~~~

We had been slowly wandering around the compound for a while now, me going ahead and closing each curtain and set of blinds all along the way. We talked quietly amongst the two of us, complaining about the ugly wallpaper or joking about the ironic amount of windows for a house filled with vampires. It was nice, conversation with Elijah was almost always easy if you allowed it to be so. He was incredibly observant by nature, a trait he had mastered over many centuries of navigating his family's conflicts, but he always knew just what everyone needed. It was usually awful to think about, to realize that that was all he had ever been, maybe all he ever would be, everything that everybody else needs, but occasionally it was comforting to know that he would always know what to say.

I was secretly thankful that Elijah's siblings all seemed to be contented with not seeking out their brother. It certainly wasn't that I didn't want him to be with his family, but it was nice to spend time with him when it was just the two of us. Of course, I didn't tell him that, I knew that he loved his siblings, as cruel, and manipulative, and back-stabbing as they all were... he loved them. And I knew that he had this dream that we could all live peacefully under one roof together, the classic fantasy of a big, happy family from someone surrounded by the remnants of a broken home. It was hard to watch him strive for it time and time again, endlessly forgive because he couldn't bear to hold a grudge, brush off indefensible sins and unpardonable misdeeds because he couldn't stand to admit the betrayal. But, looking through those deep, warm, tired  brown eyes, they were all nothing but perfect. Blinded by his love for all he had left in the world, he couldn't see what was obvious to everyone else.

Or maybe he simply refused to, maybe he could see it all clear as day but blocked it out. Perhaps he forgave the same transgressions over and over because there was no other option, because his only other choice would be to turn his back on them and walk away. Eternity was a long time... and... maybe any  company... no matter how vile... was better than spending it alone.

~~~~~

Eventually, we made our way into a quiet library, off in a far, dusty corner of the compound. I busied myself with pulling the curtains shut over each of the massive windows while Elijah flipped on the lights and settled himself on a couch. "This is where I taught you to read," he said, looking fondly at the shelves and shelves of books that lined the walls.

I sat down next to him, allowing my gaze to travel around the room, smiling to myself at the memories. We had spent hours upon hours tucked away in this room, hidden from the world as he helped me through each word and brought to life beautiful stories. There had been many nights where the sound of his voice would lull me into sleep as he read aloud whichever book I had chosen from the many shelves. He was infinitely loving and endlessly patient, it had made me feel safe, smart, special, he looked at me like the whole world was made to be seen by my eyes.

As I grew older, I found new understandings within it, was able to truly perceive the gravity of Elijah's actions. I began to really comprehend what he had done for his siblings, that they were raised the same as I had been, that they had been carried, and held, and cared for by the same person that cared for me now. A part of me had always wondered if they had ever felt the same way as I often did, like he had offered them everything but there would always be a piece missing, or if Father's Day had ever come around and they had thought for a split second to get him a card.

The thought of it was somehow so harrowingly lonely, that the same person, over and over, became a parent in everything but name. But, at the same time, the outcome of all of his struggle was beautiful, I was able to step back and watch myself support Davina in all the ways that Elijah had supported me. He had helped me become something good so that she could become something great, just like he had raised Klaus to be amazing so that Hope could be incredible. Finn was free because Elijah had fought back. Freya could relax because Elijah had stepped in where their parents had failed. Klaus could paint light in all the darkest places because Elijah had taught him to find it within himself. Kol's music floated through the compound because Elijah had helped him find the magic he so longed for within the carefully written notes. Rebekah was strong because Elijah had been stronger. Henrik had adored all the simplest things in life because Elijah had shown him the beauty in them.

I knew that he saw it too. Sometimes, when he thought no one was looking, he would quietly smile to himself as he watched his siblings eat dinner as a family, or Kol and Freya looking through spell books together, or Rebekah braiding Hayley's hair. Something inexplicable about him would soften, some invisible weight that he kept buried deep within himself would ease slightly as he watched the simple closeness. And I could see the same look in those deep brow eyes now as I glanced over to him on the couch next to me. His gaze trailed over the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, the plush armchairs around the hearth, the intricate plaster designs on the ceiling as he watched the memories come to life from a simpler time.

It was as though he could finally see that, in the end, it had all been worth it. And it was comforting as much as it was terrifying to know that he had no regrets, and in another life or if the moment ever arose, he would do it all again.

*A/N* Thank you so much to everyone for reading! This took so long, but I'm glad I stuck with it because I just keep loving this book more and more with every one of these fluff chapters. Finishing this book by the end of December is going to be REAL tight, there are 4 chapters of actual book left and then an additional chapter for a little sentimental author's note of all my favourite lines from the book and my own little take on them. I feel like reasonably I could do it, but I also know myself and I am 100% going to procrastinate until the very last second so it's looking doubtful. Anyways, thanks so much again for reading, I love you all, thank you for bearing with me for this very slow process, hang in there!

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