I woke up..

The End

It has been a couple weeks after my whole confession about death and stuff, and it has been a bit awkward at first, with each brother coming to me either as a group or just by themselves. Either coming with questions about my attempts, my thoughts, and my whole immortal thing in general, or even just to talk. Sometimes they come to me to talk about their feelings like Leo had said we would do. And there has been a lot of crying and apologizing from everyone.

Donnie had done some tests on me to figure out the reason why I couldn't die and if it was the same for everyone, or if it was just me. Turns out, when I was putting a little bit of mutagen on myself years ago and got all that shell acne, I was also slightly adding to my mutation. So even if I blew up like a giant zit, I would have been completely fine. However, I am so glad it didn't go down that way. Even thinking about it makes me feel nauseous.

I felt a little relieved that my bros knew about it all. I sometimes make jokes about dying and so on, but they don't like it..yet. It's probably just too soon. But I even mentioned how I could be the greatest ninja ever! Being able to be the bait and all, and sacrifice myself to save everyone when needed! That could have come in handy multiple times during our fights. But they said that was basically trying to kill myself, and that I wasn't allowed to just willingly go put myself in harm's way just because I could.

Then Donnie also mentioned how he doesn't think this whole immortality is permanent. That every time I die and come back to life, is using up that little bit of that extra mutagen that is kind of just there at the moment. And that I could actually die at some point when it runs out. It didn't make much sense to me at first but then he put it in a way I could understand. You have many lives, Mikey. Not infinite. Like in your video games.

As much as I like the idea of being the ultimate ninja superhero, I don't want to risk it. But it also made me a bit relieved, to say the least. I'm happy I won't live forever. I don't want to be stuck in a world without my brothers, or friends, and have to watch everyone I love die, over and over again. No, thank you. I would rather have a half-normal life with the potential of dying.

Since then, we decided that every Sunday we will have a "talk out circle", where we all sit in a circle and talk things out. Everything is mainly about Splinter right now, and my almost death. But sometimes it's about things like, I can't get this machine working right, someone drank all my chocolate milk, and I haven't been able to pick out what we have for dinner in days. As much as I hate telling my brothers what I'm feeling, I'm happy that we are doing it. And just like that, we became just a little bit closer as a family.