Bully Me ✔️

26. Miserable Ones

"I'm sorry!" Kihyun lifts his hand to emphasize it but stops mid-air at the face in front of him.

"It's ok— oh, Kihyun..." Byun Jaemin says, adjusting the falling strap of his backpack. "It's okay, it was an accident. I got to go."

"Wait!" Kihyun holds him by his arm just like he had done to Mina a few minutes ago.

"Please, don't beat me up just because Sehyuk is suspended for a while."

Kihyun leaves his arm immediately like he's been scorched by Jaemin's flesh. Is this how people view him? A bully? He doesn't know why but shame colors him red and the boy drops his head, not being able to face his closest high school buddy. "I...there's something you should know since you and Sehyuk aren't on good terms right now."

"You got that wrong. We're perfectly fine," Jaemin's voice is laced with sarcasm, a scoff following right after. "We cleared up whatever we had." He juts out his chin proudly and Kihyun feels a hard punch to his gut. "Since you weren't freeloading at his apartment, let me tell you, we met yesterday at his place."

Kihyun stands there, studying the boy who exudes happiness and contentment. He smiles somberly, lips curling ruefully to hide the jealousy that creeps in his chest. "It's funny..."

"What is?"

"You treated us both the same way but you went to Sehyuk within some days to mend your relationship. Was I that disposable to you? It's been years and we are still at odds with each other."

Jaemin scowls, scrunching his eyebrows together. "Are you seriously making me the bad guy and playing victim right now? You were the one who cut me off first without a word and even then I was behind you for weeks but got no answer! You even started bullying me! What was I supposed to do then?"

"You should've still been there! My—" Kihyun chokes on his spit, his gut twisting inside. "My life was falling apart! I didn't know what to do. My hyung went to jail for drugs and my mother watched as my father abused me...and the only guy I thought of as a true friend used me for my money.  I had no control over anything in my life. So, yes! Jaemin, I am a victim! I have been since I was four when my father first locked me in the cold bathroom all night as a punishment for being born."

Jaemin is as pale as a ghost after Kihyun's outburst, his mouth agape and eyes saucer-like wide. Kihyun had never talked about his family since he wanted to be normal in front of the boy, and wanted to show he wasn't broken from the inside. Their friendship had been rainbows and sunshines and he wanted it to stay that way, be himself without the baggage he was bound to.

"I miss it, you know. I miss the time we spent in each other's company. Even though you betrayed me when you took money from my parents on the graduation day, my stupid heart still wishes we were friends. I wish many things but the only truth is...it's over and there's nothing I can do about it."

"Kihyun! Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I didn't know you saw that!" Jaemin gasps, hand shooting out to hold onto Kihyun's arm. "Please, listen to me!"

Kihyun tries to move away but the boy's grip tightens.

"I was in dire need of money and when your parents offered me cash, I couldn't decline them. But...the guilt ate me up that very moment. I couldn't do that to you because I cared for you. Those two years, I was nothing but genuine with you. No matter my financial situation, it was wrong. So, before I could find you and face you, I went to them and returned the money."

"Are...are you saying the truth?"

"Of course! I swear! And I'm sorry, I didn't know how hard it had been at your house."

"No." Kihyun raises his hand in the air. The what ifs are badgering at him but now isn't the time to feed them. He has to make sure the goal he has in mind for today is successful. "I don't want your pity. And right now, it's not about you or me. I just want to ask you when did you meet Sehyuk yesterday?"