Dirty Secret

Chapter 20

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***

Jeremy had dropped me off at home and even waited until I was safely inside. I waited until the distant sound of his bike was eventually gone and I was by my lonely once again. Well, aside from Thomas who was snoring on the rocking chair.

At around midnight, I  was lying in bed, trying not to laugh at the cruelty and irony of my own fate.

I cocked my head up as if to stare at the ceiling and thought; You couldn't even let me have that huh? A mate that I could actually be with. Is that asking for too much?

Everyone was worthy of one, a soulmate, someone who will be by your side even when the entire world has turned its back on you. I guess I did not deserve even the basics of our everlasting tradition, a custom that was in our own DNA and genetics, something that came to wolves as naturally as

taking your first breath. Even that was too good for me to have.

Eventually, the ironic laughter became inevitable tears. I hadn't realized how much I missed Jeremy until we were reunited. I felt complete, like the other half of me had finally returned. I didn't realize the misery that had accompanied my loneliness, much like a cursed shadow that followed me everywhere I went. I only wished that he had come back sooner.

I wondered if Brett was ever going to tell me that we were mates or if he was just going to go on avoiding me forever. I was bound to find out eventually, right? Still, I wasn't so sure of how these things worked, I was a rogue after all with no manners or lessons on how we function. Life was like a game of trial and error for me and so far, it had just been errors.

I felt a shuffle by my open window again. I got in the habit of leaving it unlocked, I guess a part of me hoped that Brett would come back and we could kiss again.  I yearned to be lifted from the ground once again. And just as I had hoped, he showed up. I remained in bed while he planted one foot on the ground and then the other and eventually he stood with all his glory at the corner of my room. This time, the laundry had disappeared, I made sure to get rid of it whilst subconsciously anticipating his return.

I cleared my throat,"I guess this is going to be normal for us now."

Brett had on sweatpants and a t-shirt. Even dressed so casually, he looked wonderful. I could have drawn an outline of pure gold around his frame, he certainly shone like  it. I never quite felt my wolf until he was around. She stirred with desire, I stifled a strange urge to howl and pur.

"I have something to tell you."

"Don't you always?"

He gave me a look that revealed he did not appreciate my sarcasm. I cleared my throat because of my nerves and because under his gaze I felt like I was getting smaller.

"The council knows it wasn't you that's been responsible for the murders.They caught the man on camera."

"I know."

I debated whether or not I should tell them about the man in Byward Alley. I figured I'd let them figure it out on their own.

"They agreed to wait until you turn eighteen, so you have some time for now."

"Time for what?"

"To figure it all out, where you want to go after the school year finishes."

"I turned eighteen a few days ago, you were there, remember? Or are you going to tell me you forgot about that too?"

"I forged your birth certificate."

"You did what?"

"I had no choice!" he hissed," the council had an agreement to kill you when you turn eighteen if you survived the shift. They ordered a copy of your birth certificate from the cops, my dads got friends there."

"How did you forge it exactly?"

"I waited till it came in the mail and I photoshopped it."

"Why would you do that for me?"

I wanted him to say it. Say that you care, and you cannot help but to care, because we're mates.

"It doesn't matter. For now, all you need to know is that the council is going to be off your back, but only for a little while. It gives you time to finish the school year and save some money," he pulled out something from his pockets and tossed it," take this, it should get you started. I'll come back with more."

I rose off the bed and to the edge of the mattress. It was a sock that Brett had thrown, stuffed inside was a wad of hundreds.

"You can't be serious," I whispered to myself. I tossed the sock back at him and it landed at his feet. I stood up and walked over to where he was. It seemed that just the closing of our distance was enough to make him uncomfortable. Brett looked as if he was fighting an internal battle, and losing.

"Why are you doing all this for me?" I asked once again, halting just a few centimeters from him," I'm just a dirty rogue after all, aren't I?"

"Don't call yourself that," he sounded defensive on my behalf. I wanted to end the distance and kiss him

"Tell me...why do you care so much?"

He stared into my eyes and I his. I knew he could not form the words to admit it, and so I tested a greater theory. I rose onto the tips of my toes and kissed him. Brett released a growl whilst his lips were on mine and for a moment I thought he would push me away. I felt my head spin like I was on a roller coaster, the entire room seemed to shake and bend sideways while the only thing that remained intact was us.

Where Jeremy felt like the warmth of a safe home, Brett felt like wild and savage intentions. I felt riddled with a fiery lust, there was a feeling of wanting to unleash, to break out of the chains and unravel.

I felt his hand caressing my thigh while the other wrapped around my neck. He tightened his grip and brought me closer to his rough mouth. Brett spread my lips with his to bury his tongue. The kiss was hungry, Brett in fact seemed to be starving. The low growls that came from his throat were driving me crazy. I wished he would rip apart my clothes and take me. I had never felt warmth like this between my legs. I felt like I was his to claim, in body, soul and mind. His hands moved up to where my breasts were, his teeth bit on my cheeks and jawline, he sucked on my neck and I moaned out with pleasure. I could feel something as hard as a brick rising in his pants. It poked against my stomach, I fought the urge to touch it although I wanted to more badly then I had ever wanted anything else.

Brett suddenly stopped. He was breathless and as was I. I had just realized that we needed to stop for air eventually, but that was not why he had stopped.

"What's wrong?"

"Go put on some clothes," he grumbled," I can't have a conversation with you like this."

I looked down at myself. I was in underwear and a camisole.

"Oh, because that's why you came here right? To tell me something you could have easily told me in public?"

He looked guilty, like I had crawled into his own brain and exposed his intentions.

"I'm not an idiot Brett, so stop treating me like one."

"I said all that I have to say. I need to go now."

"Convenient," I released an unamused chuckle.

Brett pushed past me towards the window.

"Don't come back," I snapped at him," I'm locking the fucking window from now on!"

A look of hurt crossed his expression. I wanted to take back what I said but I resisted.

Brett disappeared and I was left frustrated in every way possible.